


A Matter of Trust

by tinkertoysdamn



Category: Star Trek: Mirror Universe, Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: Alien Cultural Differences, Alien Culture, Attempted Sexual Assault, Canon Dialogue, Enthusiastic Consent, F/M, Implied/Referenced Mind Control, M/M, Sex, Sexism, unbeta’d
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-03-27
Updated: 2015-05-10
Packaged: 2018-03-26 17:11:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 38,850
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3858442
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tinkertoysdamn/pseuds/tinkertoysdamn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Spock learns the hard way that trust is a precious commodity in the Mirrorverse.</p>
<p>For Star Trek TOS kink meme.  Mirror!Spock/Mirror!McCoy, where Mirror!McCoy is the dominant partner, and when he gets back to his is own universe after the events of Mirror Mirror and discovers what Mirror!Spock did to his counterpart he is not at all pleased.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Spock came to, feeling nauseous. He was on his back, his wrists had been bound and his legs strapped into a pair of stirrups. His limbs felt unresponsive and heavy. Under other circumstances, he could easily break free of his restraints but at the moment, he was helpless. As his stomach rolled, he came to the obvious conclusion: Dr. Leonard McCoy had drugged him.

The _ISS Enterprise’s_ First Officer opened his eyes and took in his surroundings. He was in the back room of Sickbay, the soundproofed one that could only be unlocked by himself, the Captain or the CMO. The room served two functions on the _Enterprise_. The first was for interrogation, a function normally performed by Spock himself but on occasion they would need to employ the doctor’s expertise. As Kirk was not present, Spock doubted that was why he was here.

Which meant he was here for the room’s secondary purpose: sex. Spock was pleased, he and Leonard had not engaged in intercourse for several weeks. Ship’s business had kept them both busy and unable to coordinate their schedules. The fact that Dr. McCoy had taken the time to track him down, drug him and drag him into this room meant that Spock wasn’t the only one feeling the strain of their time apart.

The door opened admitting the man on Spock’s mind. Leonard had forsaken the usual uniform top and was wearing only the black undershirt. The Vulcan took a moment to admire his lover’s strong, wiry arms. The doctor had also left off the gold command sash, leaving nothing but clean black lines to hug the older man’s body. He held a silver case by the handle and set it down on the counter.

Spock felt the first stirrings of desire. Leonard only brought the silver case when he was in a kinky mood. The case could contain any number of things: toys, paddles, feathers, fruit, or whatever struck the doctor’s fancy. The man was a sensualist and Spock loved it.

Leonard did not open the case. He turned around, his lean body slouching against the counter. His hard blue eyes glared at the bound Vulcan. For the first time, he spoke: “I read your report.”

That was not was Spock was expecting. He raised an eyebrow. “Was something amiss?”

“Something was amiss all right.” Leonard pushed off the counter and stepped over to Spock. His gait was slow and measured, predatory but not in the way the Vulcan would have preferred. He stepped on the control mechanism on the floor and the chair creaked upright. Technology had advanced far enough to have a chair that didn’t make noise, but some things were better left alone. They had more effect that way.

Dr. McCoy moved to the front of the chair, almost straddling it. His hands clamped over Spock’s bound wrists and his lips hovered mere centimeters from the Vulcan’s. Spock could feel the heat and moisture from Leonard’s breath. If not for the paralytic in his system, he would have met that tempting mouth. He would have stopped any future torrents of words with his lips. With panting breaths and plundering tongue he would have argued for more pleasant activities. There was little that would cool Spock’s rising ardor.

“You melded with my counterpart.”

Except for that. He should have seen this coming. “Yes,” Spock answered.

The tension was radiating off the smaller man. “Against his will.”

“Yes.”

“Why?”

The Vulcan sighed. “I thought he was you. He was behaving erratically.”

Dr. McCoy exploded with anger. “And you thought invading his mind, my mind was the solution?”

Spock remained calm, getting too defensive would not diffuse the situation. “If you had been manipulated by an outside force you would have either lied to me or been unaware of it. A mindmeld would have been the only way to know for certain.”

“Bullshit.” The doctor shook his head, visibly annoyed. “Spock, I don’t ask for much in this relationship, do I?”

“No, Leonard.”

The sound of the slap hurt almost as much as the sting on his cheek. Spock blinked at the furious face of his lover. Dr. McCoy scowled, his finger jabbing into Spock’s space. “You don’t get to call me that tonight. You haven’t earned the right.” He backed away, taking the warmth of his body with him.

Spock knew that the doctor would be angry. He had debated leaving his encounter with the other universe’s Dr. McCoy out of his report but Kirk had taken it before it could be edited. The report had been strictly confidential, limited only to high brass in the Empire and those directly involved in the incident. Spock had hoped, rather foolishly as it turned out, that Leonard wouldn’t be interested in reading it. “There’s one thing, one thing I tell you not to do and you do it.”

Spock said the only thing he thought might matter, “But he wasn’t you.”

“You thought he was me!” McCoy shouted. Leonard sucked in a breath and sighed. He turned to the counter and examined the tools on display. His fingers traced the gleaming metal, the sharp points and curved edges of the instruments. “I don’t like having someone in my mind. I’ve had too many fucking aliens rattling around in there already, thank you very much.” He looked back over his shoulder, blue eyes piercing into Spock’s. “I only let you do the touch telepathy thing when we fuck because it feels good and because I’ve always trusted you to never take it further.”

Leonard turned away, his fingers resting on a scalpel. “Now I don’t think I can trust you anymore.”

Spock was stricken. He couldn’t possibly mean— “I’m sorry, doctor. I—“

Dr. McCoy plucked the scalpel from its casing and faced Spock. “I don’t think you’re really sorry, Spock.” A sad smile graced his face. “But after tonight I think you will be.”

It only took a few short strides for him to cross the room. Leonard sat in Spock’s lap, his thighs spread wide and provocative. His left hand gripped the top edge of the chair, his right held the scalpel, and his body was close, oh so close.

“The thing about trust, Mr. Spock, is that it’s a delicate thing.” Spock suppressed a shudder as he felt cool blunt steel trail down his cheek. “It can be comforting, or—“

The blade shifted in McCoy’s palm, pressing into the Vulcan’s flesh just enough to sting. “It can cut if misplaced--” Leonard drew the weapon away, his thumb brushing the tiny drop of green blood that had welled up. “Or abused.” He presses a soft kiss to the cut. “Do you understand?”

“Yes, doctor,” Spock responded.

Leonard tilted his head, examining the bearded face. He scoffed, the blunt scalpel edge sliding delicately down to the uniform pants. “Spock, if you really understood then you wouldn’t be in this position.”

The Vulcan couldn’t help himself, he said, “Exactly what position would I be in?”

McCoy’s lip curled up. “You’d be leaning over me while my ankles were hooked over your shoulders, fucking me into next week,” he replied, his voice dripping sex.

Spock shuddered. McCoy rubbed the heel of his hand against the Vulcan’s growing arousal. The doctor chuckled, his nose nuzzling against the graceful curve of Spock’s ear. “But that’s not happening now, is it?”

The First Officer screwed his eyes shut, trying to maintain some sense of control. “No.”

McCoy didn’t like that. “Open your eyes, Spock.”

Dark eyes opened at the command. Leonard nodded to himself. “Good, we’re going to play a little game.” He slide off the chair, making the Vulcan wished he was free, if only to drag the smaller man back onto his lap. McCoy’s left hand cupped Spock’s bearded chin. “No matter what I do, you have to keep your eyes open. If you keep your eyes open, the blade won’t slip, get it?”

Spock could only nod as he felt the first drag of the scalpel across his thigh. Fabric parted under the blade, but the skin remained untouched. Back and forth the instrument moved, leaving exposed flesh and sensation in its wake. The nerves in his thighs and calves were raw, wondering where the next touch would occur. Through it all, he kept his eyes open and he never felt the sting of steel.

The Vulcan’s pants were shredded, useless even as scrap. Leonard gathered the fabric and tossed it into a trash receptacle. Now the First Officer wore nothing but his shirts and boots, his lower half was completely bare. Although not fully erect, the Vulcan’s green-tinged organ was showing a definite interest in the proceedings. Spock could tell the other man was pleased.

“See how nice trust can be?” McCoy asked. He moved to the counter and placed his hands on the catches of the silver case. Spock inhaled in anticipation. “Now we can have some real fun.” The case opened with a loud click.

*****

Their relationship was an unusual one, started out of curiosity rather than a need for power. Spock had always known that one day he would experience the terrible fires of _pon farr_. When his Time came he would marry his betrothed and take her. He would be uncontrolled and undisciplined. Perhaps if he had experienced intercourse before, he could make the ordeal more pleasant for her. Spock did not know T’Pring, but he had no desire to cause her unnecessary pain.

However, his plan had unforeseen complications. Engaging in sexual relations on an Imperial starship was a dangerous prospect. Spock found that most senior officers would demand sex from younger more inexperienced crewmembers. The younger crewmember would then expect favors, usually of a political nature in return. At least that was how it worked when the relationship was consensual. There were also liaisons based solely on force. Most of these arrangements ended badly.

Over time, Spock noticed that the only senior officer on the _Enterprise_ who seemed to refrain from this behavior was the Chief Medical Officer, Dr. Leonard McCoy. The Vulcan found this curious, as McCoy was a highly emotional being who seemed to deny himself nothing, including pleasure. Perhaps he had another outlet Spock had not considered.

As he did not wish to expose himself to extortion or possible assassination, Spock decided to talk to the doctor.

It was the end of Alpha shift about three months into the mission when he finally cornered the older man alone in his office. He had out a bottle of Saurian Brandy and a mostly empty glass. Judging from the smell, Dr. McCoy had been at the bottle for at least a half an hour.

Bleary blue eyes gazed up at the Vulcan. “What do you want, Mr. Spock?

The First Officer steepled his hands together and began his interrogation. “I have noticed that many of the senior officers on the _Enterprise_ have engaged in sexual relations with junior partners of their choice. However, I have not been able to determine with whom you are having intercourse.”

McCoy sputtered into his drink, horrified. “Spock, I do not want to discuss my sex life with you.”

“I am merely curious—“

“Fuck you!” McCoy shouted, face turning red in embarrassment. “Look, I don’t sleep with crew, it’s too dangerous. Anytime someone wants to fuck with a doctor it’s because they want access to the drug stores or they think that they can manipulate me into killing their enemies. I don’t have a lot of principles but I’m still a goddamn professional.”

The doctor closed the stopper on the Saurian Brandy, his entire body tense and agitated.

“You seemed upset, doctor,” Spock said in a mild tone.

McCoy scoffed. “Yes, well I’ve been under a lot of stress lately and don’t have much of an outlet for it.”

Now Spock was curious. “What do you usually use for stress relief?”

The doctor stood and stashed the bottle back in his cabinet. “Sex, but I can’t get it on the ship.”

“What then?”

The older man slouched against the cabinet and picked up the nearly empty glass. He waved it around in a sarcastic gesture.

Spock nodded in understanding. “I see. So when do you—“

McCoy drank the rest of the tumbler’s contents and slammed the glass down with enough force for it to crack. “Drop it.”

The Vulcan shook his head. “I can’t. Dr. McCoy I find that I am in the same position as you. I wish to experiment but my rank makes it difficult to find a partner who won’t betray me. If you can give me appropriate knowledge on how to deal with the situation, I can make it worth your while.”

“I tell you how to get laid and you’ll do me a favor?” The doctor snorted with drunken laughter. “It’s pretty simple. You go to a bar on shore leave, find someone you want to fuck, proposition them and take them back to your hotel room.”

“And afterward?” Spock asked.

The doctor’s lips curved into a smile. “You kick them out and never see them again.”

He absorbed this information. It seemed like a simple enough solution to Spock’s problem and he would not have to worry about any awkwardness on the ship. Most excellent. “Your advice is sound.” McCoy nodded as if he knew that Spock would appreciate this small pearl of wisdom. “And what sort of favor would you like?” Spock asked.

“It’s simple,” McCoy said. He walked up to Spock, face close enough for Spock to smell the alcohol on his breath. “We pretend we never had this conversation. Goodnight, Spock.” Then the doctor left.

*****

The next month was shore leave on Wrigley’s Pleasure Planet. Spock did not often take leave off the ship but he was eager to put Dr. McCoy’s advice into action. He researched several bars in the area, using scuttlebutt to determine which were the best spots for “going on the prowl.”

The establishment Spock chose was one close to the hotel the _Enterprise_ crew was housed in. It was also smoky and dimly lit. Although Spock found the smell unpleasant, the murky atmosphere would allow for an anonymous exit.

As the Vulcan forged his way through the hum of bodies he plotted his course of action. He had done some reading on the _Enterprise’s_ computers regarding courtship rituals for various species and he was confident that he could apply them with success.

However, when he came within visual range of the bar, his plans went right out the window. At the bar sat the doctor, surrounded by admirers of various species and genders. This was the first time Spock had seen him out of uniform and he was surprised at the change in McCoy’s appearance. The man looked good.

On the ship the human always seemed surly, snapping at the crewmembers foolish enough to injure themselves with their own carelessness. But here, McCoy seemed open and friendly. His hands moved with an elegance most had never seen outside of surgery. He laughed freely, his eyes smoldering with charm. Spock was intrigued.

He took a seat at the end of the bar where he could observe the doctor. “What’ll you have?”

The Vulcan looked at the bartender. “An Altair water,” he ordered. As he sipped at his beverage of choice he asked, “Who is that gentleman?” He tipped his head in the direction of Dr. McCoy. Although Spock knew damn well who McCoy was, the bartender might be more willing to give him information if he pretended ignorance.

“Him? That’s The Doctor,” the bartender said, wiping up a small spill on the countertop. “He doesn’t come around too often but he’s a popular one.”

Intriguing. “May I ask why?”

The bartender leered.

Spock raised an eyebrow. “I see.”

Then the man leaned forward, his voice conspiratorial and low. “And I’ll tell you this, he won’t go home with any of them tonight.”

The Vulcan was skeptical. “How do you know?”

The bartender just held out his hand. Spock gave the man a few credits, apparently enough to loosen his tongue. “He doesn’t give repeat performances,” the man whispered.

This proved promising. An experienced partner who did not form attachments was just what he needed. Spock finished his Altair water and made his way to the doctor.

The conversation died as he approached. The other beings watched him with suspicion, since they had never seen him before. McCoy’s face closed off in annoyance. Spock kept himself calm and neutral. For a group of beings who had been enjoying themselves moments earlier, he was an unnerving newcomer.

Spock stared at an Andorian in the seat next to McCoy. “I believe you are in my seat.” The Andorian, seeing something in the bearded man’s face stumbled to his feet and took off. As Spock sat down to take his place, the other aliens dispersed.

McCoy shifted in his seat then uttered in a harsh whisper. “Spock what are you doing?”

Spock’s expression was unreadable. “I am taking your advice, doctor.”

McCoy scowled into his liquor. “Stalking me in a bar when I’m trying to get laid is not taking my advice.”

This McCoy was much more familiar to Spock. His lip curled in amusement. “You told me that you only engaged in sexual activity while on shore leave. I believe we are both on shore leave.”

McCoy raised an eyebrow. “Are you propositioning me, Mr. Spock?”

Spock leaned forward, resting his hand on the doctor’s thigh. He had read that in some humanoid species it was a sign of sexual interest. “Yes.”

The doctor set down his glass and pushed himself away from the counter. He glared at the Vulcan. “I don’t do telepaths.”

Spock gripped McCoy’s arm. “I believe this evening you will make an exception.”

Blue eyes flicked down to look at the green-tinged hand. “Is that a threat, Spock?“

The Vulcan shook his head. “No. This encounter will not impact our professional relationship and I promise not to use my abilities if they make you uncomfortable.” Spock loosened his grip, stroking the doctor’s arm with his thumb.

McCoy snorted in disbelief. “I’ve heard that before.”

Spock caught McCoy’s chin with his free hand. “I am Vulcan. I give you my word.”

There was a short silence. McCoy gave Spock a speculative look. “An awful lot of trouble for a quick roll in the hay.”

As their lips pressed together Spock said, “Hopefully, you will be worth it.”

Leonard was more than worth it. The surgeon had experienced hands, hands that mapped points of pleasure with surety and skill. His lips were a soft, wet caress and his Southern drawl crashed over Spock in waves.

For the first time, the Vulcan knew need and want. His sensitive skin picked up trace thoughts from the older human; it was all the mental intimacy that Leonard would permit. His mind hummed with desire and curiosity, a combination that sent tingles down Spock’s spine. Every touch that drew a response from the stoic Vulcan, no matter how infinitesimal, made pleasure bloom in McCoy’s mind.

As they tipped over the edge with the doctor buried in Spock’s body, he realized with dread that he still wanted McCoy. The human had only promised him one night. There was still so much he could learn and Spock did not want another teacher.

When he awoke in the morning and Leonard was gone, Spock made his decision. That night, he went back to the bar. As he suspected, McCoy was again at the counter and he was not alone. The Andorian from the night before was chatting with the doctor, his teeth showing in a feral display. Spock wasted no time.

He grabbed the blue-skinned alien by the shoulder and removed him from his seat. McCoy watched with startled blue eyes. “Spock!” he shouted.

The Vulcan interrupted. “The bartender told me that you do not ‘do repeat performances.’”

Leonard rolled his eyes. “Literal Vulcan.” He controlled his sarcasm just long enough to inform Spock that, “What he meant was that I won’t fuck you again.”

“I am not asking you to,” Spock said. “You mentioned other sexual activities last evening that we did not get the opportunity to engage in, activities of a _reciprocal_ nature. If we pursued those avenues we would not being repeating ourselves.”

McCoy then did something the Vulcan did not expect, he laughed. There was nothing bitter or sardonic about it, it was pure startled laughter. “You were thinking of that all day, weren’t you? Meditating on the right pickup line for an old country doctor.”

Spock stiffened; he did not like being mocked. “It was not a pickup line but a perfectly logical argument.”

McCoy looked into the other man’s offended dark eyes. “That’s why it’s funny.” He moved his hand down to Spock’s thigh, a mimic of their previous encounter. “What’s this really all about?”

“I will not discuss this here.”

“Fair enough.”

Once they got back to Spock’s hotel room the Vulcan shoved the doctor against the wall. He ravaged the older man’s mouth, trying to demonstrate his desire without resorting to the humiliation of words. McCoy pulled back, his voice a low purr. “This really is about sex.”

“Cease talking, Dr. McCoy, or I’ll find a better use for your mouth.”

McCoy’s hand slide down Spock’s front and cupped his groin. “I thought you said that oral stimulation was a waste of time since you’re not as sensitive as a human.”

The Vulcan nipped at the doctor’s throat. “I’m certain you’ll think of something.”

“Your confidence in my abilities is inspiring, Spock.”

After that conversation degenerated into moans, pants and the occasional encouragement. McCoy’s hands and the play of his teeth along the pads of Spock’s fingers drove the Vulcan into a frenzy. He shoved the doctor back onto the bed and rutted against the older man’s thigh. McCoy only laughed, burning kisses and bites onto Spock’s shoulders and chest.

He couldn’t take it any longer. Spock reached into the nightstand drawer, finding the lubricant he had hidden there earlier. Spock slicked his fingers and poised them to enter McCoy’s body. The doctor seized his wrist in a firm grip. The Vulcan glared in astonishment.

McCoy’s cheeks were flushed with arousal, but his voice was steady, accent thick. “Spock, when you enter someone’s body there’s a certain trust that’s implied. Now before I let you inside I need a few answers.”

“What—“

“You’re a Vulcan, all of you have plans within plans. This isn’t just sex, it’s never just sex.” McCoy’s voice became forceful. “What do you want? I need the truth.”

Spock trembled with the effort to regain his control. He wanted nothing more than to ignore the doctor’s words and impale the smaller man on his cock, but he knew he could never get what he really wanted by force.

He would tell the truth. “Very well. There is a biological need that every Vulcan has to fulfill, usually every seven years. I was hoping to prepare for this by engaging in intercourse.”

“With me?” McCoy asked.

“Anyone would have sufficed but when I saw you in the bar I found you intriguing.”

The doctor smirked, not quite believing it. “How many times do you need to have sex for this preparation?”

Spock wanted to say as many times as possible but he admitted: “Only the once.”

“So this is for fun then?”

The Vulcan flushed green in his humiliation. McCoy grinned; he let his other hand trail Spock’s cheek. “That’s nothing to be ashamed of, wanting pleasure.”

“It is for a Vulcan.”

McCoy traced Spock’s lower lip with his thumb. “I doubt that. Besides, you’re not fully Vulcan, are you?”

Spock’s breath hitched. “Do not remind me.”

The doctor suddenly pinched down, the lower lip stretching between his thumb and forefinger. Spock winced at the unexpected pain. “What else is there?”

Spock growled at McCoy’s ability to read him so easily. On the _Enterprise_ he was a mystery to everyone, but in this bed it seemed that his defenses were laid bare to the doctor’s steely gaze. “I also wish to continue this arrangement when we return to the ship.”

McCoy let go and pressed a soothing kiss to Spock’s mouth. “Just sex, nothing else?”

He was relieved at the doctor’s gentleness; Spock felt it was an excellent sign. “Correct. I have no interest in sickbay and you have no interest in command. We have nothing politically to gain but also nothing to lose.”

McCoy frowned. “Except our heads if Kirk finds out. He won’t see an arrangement of convenience, just collusion between two senior officers.”  
  
Spock knew that he had the doctor’s interest. Just one more push would do it. “I will not interfere with your business and you will not interfere with mine. We will also agree to take all consequences as they come.”

McCoy considered this for a moment. “I think I can accept that.” He guided Spock’s fingers into his body. He leaned forward, breath ghosting across the Vulcan’s ear. “Come on in and we’ll seal the deal.”

He kept his word. Sickbay was the doctor’s domain and Spock never asked the man for anything. In return, McCoy never asked for anything professionally from Spock, even when it would be in his favor.

On more than one occasion Spock had to send Leonard to the Agony Booth for smarting off to Kirk. The action deeply pained the Vulcan though he never showed it. The first time, he had gone to sickbay to apologize after McCoy’s session.

The doctor had just slumped in his office chair and shook his head. “Spock, I’d rather go to the Agony Booth a thousand times then let Kirk know.”

“I still wish to apologize,” Spock had said.

McCoy had just given the Vulcan a lazy smirk. “If you really want to make it up to me.“ Leonard spread his legs, his eyes suggestive. Spock sank to his knees, anticipating the long evening ahead.


	2.   A Matter of Trust 2/?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spock learns the hard way that trust is a precious commodity in the Mirrorverse. 

They had been together for months before Spock started to have doubts but not about McCoy nor about their arrangement.No, Spock found both most pleasing.Spock’s personal efficiency had increased by at least thirteen percent, his rest periods were more productive and he felt a renewed satisfaction in his work.

Leonard himself had also changed.His normal bedside manner of barely concealed hostility had morphed into something more professional if not less blunt.His paperwork was submitted to the fleet on time and correctly filled out.But best of all, the smell of alcohol no longer clung to Leonard’s breath.

Frequent sex agreed with them both.

Spock was also not concerned with the rest of the crew.Usually, if a new alliance had started or was even rumored, whispers about it would spread all over the ship.Spock had heard not a word about himself or Dr. McCoy.Their secret should have been safe, he should have felt confident that they were undiscovered.But he did not.

Two weeks prior Captain Kirk had disappeared on a secret mission alone.He had come back covered with alien blood and carrying a strange box.He spoke to no one about what happened or what he found.Then Kirk’s most vocal enemies started to vanish.

They literally disappeared out of thin air.The crew was on edge; uncertain who would be the next victim or how it was even being done.Spock had no fear of reprisal nor did Dr. McCoy.They had no interest in command and should be beneath the captain’s notice in that respect.

However, Spock did notice that the captain was watching him.On the bridge he felt Kirk’s eyes probing him, as if searching for a chink in his normal stoicism. The captain also began making strange comments that Spock supposed were meant to be humorous.He ignored the captain’s antics but what he couldn’t ignore was the way the man looked at Leonard.

When McCoy’s back was turned Kirk’s eyes would slit into a predatory glare that made Spock’s hair stand on end.While Kirk looked at Spock like a puzzle to be solved he looked at Leonard with intent.

Spock broached the subject one night in Leonard’s quarters.“I do not appreciate the way the captain looks at you.”

McCoy raised his eyebrow in surprise.“Looks at me like what?”

The Vulcan grabbed the slighter man and pulled him into his lap.“The way only I should look at you.”

Leonard snorted at Spock’s serious expression.“Darling, he is the captain of the _ISS Enterprise_.The man has an entire ship full of people fawning all over him, he does not care about one scrawny country doctor.”He ran a finger along the point of Spock’s ear, smirking in satisfaction as the Vulcan’s skin flushed.“Besides, that Lt. Moreau seems interested in being the Captain’s Woman.She’ll keep him occupied and out of our hair for a long time.”

Seeing that Spock was not convinced, Leonard rolled his eyes and nipped at Spock’s lower lip.“Stop pouting, I’ve got something to show you.”

The doctor slid down to the floor, fingers at the fasteners of Spock’s regulation trousers.“You going to help me with this?”

Within moments Spock was naked sitting on the edge of McCoy’s bed.The doctor, however, was still clothed except for his boots and medical tunic.Spock decided to state the obvious.“You are still clothed.”

“Don’t worry, you’ll get to take it off later,” McCoy teased.He turned his back on Spock to rummage through a drawer.“This is all about you right now.”

“If that is the case, I wish for you to disrobe.”

Leonard laughed.It was a beautiful sound, one heard all too rarely on an Imperial starship.“I thought Vulcans were supposed to be patient.”He turned around to reveal a slim band of brown leather with a smooth buckle.

“May I inquire as to the significance of this object?” Spock asked.

“This is a cock ring.”Leonard knelt down between Spock’s legs.He took one of the Vulcan’s hands in his own and sucked on one long finger.“You’ll need to be hard for this next part, Spock." 

It didn’t take much to comply with McCoy’s wishes.As the green organ hardened, the doctor stroked it with a sure hand.Although the action pleased the doctor, it didn’t do much for Spock.Direct stimulation of the penis was not that arousing for Spock unless he was penetrating Leonard.

Spock suspected it had something to do with Vulcan physiology in relation to the mating bond but he wasn’t certain.He then felt something constrict the base of his organ.Leonard was snapping the leather into place.

“Is that too tight?” Leonard asked.

“No, it is restricting, but not painful,” Spock answered.

Leonard’s hands moved up to caress the green-tinged thighs.“Good.If it’s too tight it can cause permanent damage and, quite frankly, I’ve grown rather fond of your cock.”

“Indeed.”The sensation of Leonard’s hands on his thighs felt very pleasant.“What is the purpose of this device?”

“It constricts blood flow.”McCoy pressed moist kisses to Spock’s inner thigh, his hands spreading the Vulcan wide.“As you know, during intercourse blood flows to and from the reproductive organ continuously which is why males experience various states of erection.This device keeps the male at a constant level of hardness.”Leonard nipped at the skin at the junction of thigh and groin.

Spock shuddered.

“If tight enough the cock ring can actually prevent orgasm.However,” McCoy looked up, his blue eyes smoldering, “I’m relying on your Vulcan control for that.”

Spock let out a shaky breath.“Then why use it?”

“Because there’s an interesting side effect to constricted blood flow.”Leonard’s tongue rasped along the underside of Spock’s cock.

The Vulcan gasped in shock.He could fell every bump on Leonard’s tongue, the heat and moisture a hint of what was to come.

McCoy smirked.“Increased sensation.”He then took Spock fully into his mouth.

Spock carded his fingers through the doctor’s brown hair, enthralled with this new pleasure.His hips thrust in wild abandon as McCoy demonstrated exactly why he enjoyed it when Spock touched him this way.

As he reached his first orgasm through oral stimulation alone, all thoughts of Kirk were driven out of his mind.Spock’s fingers drifted to the psi points on Leonard’s face.It was tempting, oh so tempting to initiate a meld, to dive into that beautiful brain.

He wanted to share his pleasure with Leonard, show him just how he affected the Vulcan.Touch telepathy was not enough; he wanted more.Before he could press his fingers down, McCoy drew away.

Spock bit the inside of his cheek with such violence he drew blood.He had to stop himself before he did something he’d regret.The doctor was terrified of telepaths.If he forced himself into Leonard’s mind the man would never forgive him.

McCoy rocked back on his heels, lips slick and puffy.Satisfaction oozed out of the smaller man.“That good, huh?”

Spock surged out of the chair and scooped Leonard into his arms.If he could not ravish the man’s mind, he could still have his body.He kissed McCoy with all the possessive heat he felt.“I want to be inside you.”

Leonard hummed with amusement.“Think you can get it up again that fast?”

“By the time I have you adequately prepared I will be able to achieve full erection.”Spock threw the doctor back onto the bed and proceeded to strip him of his uniform.

“I should take that cock ring off you,” McCoy muttered as he was divested of his pants.

As Spock fumbled with the delightful toy still attached to his body McCoy remarked.“Shore leave is next week.You should get off the ship, relax a little.”

This was not a discussion Spock wished to have when he would rather have the doctor naked and writhing underneath him.“I have work to do.”

“Then I guess I’ll stick to my usual plan then: hitting the bars, getting drunk and getting laid,” McCoy said.

Spock’s eyes flashed with anger.The singular word “Mine” drove away all rational thought.He lunged onto the bed, pinning the doctor’s hands above his head.He could hear the bones grinding together.“Leonard, I do not want anyone else touching you.Ever.”

Leonard’s lip curved into a knowing grin.“I’m not changing my plans for shore leave.”Before Spock could say anything, McCoy wrapped his legs around the Vulcan’s waist.He surged up, his hard cock rubbing against Spock’s groin.“That was an invitation hobgoblin, so don’t pop a blood vessel.”

Spock groaned at the sensation.“I—“

Leonard’s voice was husky, deep with arousal as he continued to rut against the Vulcan above him.“If you want to keep this little arrangement exclusive even off the ship, that’s fine with me.But Spock, you have to remember that you’re the one changing the perimeters of this relationship.”

Spock loosened his grip and kissed the doctor’s temple.“I understand.”

“Good.So you’ll join me for shore leave?”

Green fingers trailed down McCoy’s body, catching at the edge of his undershirt.Spock’s lips nibbled at the exposed neck.“I can meet you starting on the second day.”

“Fine, that’s fine.”Leonard arched his body off the bed; black fabric slipped off over his head and fell discarded to the floor.“So, are you going to fuck me like you promised or am I going to have to do the work myself?”

As always, Spock did his best to fulfill his obligations.

*****

Once shore leave was over Spock realized that his desire for mental intimacy with McCoy was not going to just go away.Although he probably knew more about Leonard than anyone else in Starfleet it was not the same.Words and physical contact could satisfy a human but not a Vulcan.

He was going to have to convince McCoy that melding was the logical next step in their relationship.That melds were pleasurable and necessary for a deeper sense of connection. 

However, first he needed to discover just why Leonard was so fearful of anyone in his mind.Asking the man directly was impossible.McCoy would change the subject or launch into profanities regarding Spock’s parentage that were so foul Spock had to hold himself back from strangling the older man.

So Spock had to resort to subterfuge.Breaking the encryption on McCoy’s personnel file was more difficult than anticipated.Although most of the file was accessible to the public, there were a few sections that were classified.It was this information that peaked Spock’s interest.

As he scrolled through the file, Spock felt his anger flare.He had known that before joining the _Enterprise_ McCoy had encountered hostile alien telepaths.Spock had anticipated a name or two; he had not anticipated a list.

2253 – Telepathic interrogation regarding details of neural grafting technique by Reman spy Quadi.

2254 -- _ISS Koop_ landing party captured and tortured by Mari telepath Talen.

2257 -- _ISS Constitution_ attacked.Medical staff telepathically interrogated by Ocampi pirate Ketis.

And so on.There were seven incidents total.On seven separate occasions McCoy’s mind had been violated by telepaths.It was a miracle that the man was still sane.

He gripped the edge of the table, unmindful of the groan of metal as his hand clenched.This was not going to be a simple matter.Leonard’s fear of telepathic contact was well founded and by now deeply ingrained in his psyche.Spock had no idea how he was going to convince him that a meld would be beneficial when all McCoy knew was the opposite.The doctor’s mind was probably damaged and who knew what a simple meld would do, let alone anything more intimate.

The First Officer frowned at the screen.There was no further information on the telepaths involved, especially whether or not they had been punished.Spock copied the information on the screen, placing into a personal file.He encrypted it to his voiceprint and translated it into Vulcan.This was not information he was willing to share with anyone else.

He stared at the names, trying to imagine these seven beings who were now his enemies.Leonard’s file did not have what he needed, but perhaps he could find it in Starfleet’s information network.If the ‘fleet files could not help him then he would have to turn elsewhere.

He was a Son of Surak after all and entitled to the privileges that implied.The Vulcans had the largest association of spies in the universe and their capacity for fact finding far surpassed that of the Empire.Since joining the Imperial Fleet, Spock had not taken advantage of his heritage.He steepled his fingers together in thought.Perhaps now it would be time to put his vast resources to work. 

*****

Time passed.Missions came and went and Spock’s pride increased with every world that knelt before the Empire.He spent more and more of his off time in the doctor’s presence.McCoy never minded although he increased the intensity of their arguments in public to throw their fellow crewmen off the scent.

It seemed to work since the only rumors Spock heard about himself and Leonard were whether or not they were going to kill one another.Otherwise, life on the ship went by as usual.

A well-placed knife in the back elevated Hikaru Sulu into the Security Chief position.Pavel Chekov, a young ensign, was making a name for himself with his high intelligence and his brutality.As McCoy predicted, Lt. Moreau became the Captain’s Woman after Yeoman Rand disappeared.

Lt. Uhura backed off her own pursuit of Kirk to focus her dangerous attentions on Sulu.It was all rather tiring to keep up, but a man who didn’t understand the internal politics of his ship was a dead man.

As life settled into a routine, Spock found himself becoming complacent.When one becomes complacent, they become sloppy.And when one becomes sloppy, they end up dead.Spock’s complacency ended the day he nearly killed Chekov.

It had been an ordinary day in the mess; Spock’s food was barely tolerable but at least it was not poisoned.Several of his personal operatives were giving him reports on the shifts of power around the ship.Sulu was cracking down on his team, driving all those who were disloyal to an early grave.Mr. Scott had beaten Lt. Riley to a bloody pulp for attempting to switch departments and so on.

Spock listened to it all in a half-meditative state, letting the words sink in, their meanings attaching to his subconscious.It was mid-way through a report on the science department when he overheard Chekov.

“Why Kirk lets that freak be First Officer, is a mystery.In Russia, we would have beaten his whore of a mother to death before—“

Chekov never finished his sentence.Spock’s hand curled tight around his throat.The ensign turned red, sputtering for air.

“I suggest you speak of other things in the presence of your superiors,” Spock said.He slammed Chekov into the table, nose cracking.Dark blood stained Chekov’s face as he was hauled back up.Between the hand on his throat and the gore encrusting his nose, he was a sorry sight.

“Understand?” Spock asked.

The ensign managed a weak nod of the head, his lips an alarming shade of blue.Spock dropped the man and turned to the others at the table.“Take him to sickbay, then send him to the Agony Booth.I expect him there in one hour.”

Chekov’s companions obeyed, their eyes wide with fear.Spock excused himself from the mess hall and returned to his quarters.His face was a mask of calm detachment, but his guts twisted with rage.As he strode down the gleaming halls of the _Enterprise_ , crewmembers shrank away from him out of desperate fear rather than respect.

Could they see his composure cracking?Could they feel it?

Once he was in the privacy of his room, he prepared himself for meditation.Although Vulcans were hardly unemotional, it was an advantage to appear cool and detached when dealing with other species.Control is easy to maintain when others can’t read your intentions.

He lit the fire-pot beast and settled into the robes of his homeworld.Spock breathed in the deserts herbs, clearing his mind of all thoughts.

In and out.In and out.In and out.

Peace would not come.Anger and frustration clouded his mind.He could not think, he could not breathe, he could not _be_.Chekov’s words bothered him more than they should.They were leaching under his skin, making him hot and fierce.It was just stress, it had to be stress.He had to think.What did Leonard do when he was stressed?He drank or fucked.

Maybe it would help, maybe.Spock let his thoughts wander.Blue eyes glared at him from over the rim of a glass, lips curved in that ridiculous grin, a mouth that tasted of bourbon, a pink tongue darting out to caress the gap between green-tinged fingers, strong legs locked behind his back, the roll of hips against his own, the press of an answering erection against his thigh. . .  


His skin was hot, too hot in this room, in these clothes.Spock stripped his robes off, sitting naked; the smoke from the fire-pot curling in his nose.His skin flushed green, desperate for touch, for smell, for taste, for anything.The Vulcan was hard, tension lining his body.

He needed Leonard now!  


The sound of a whimper greeted Spock’s ears as he entered sickbay.The doctor was nowhere in sight but where there were patients, there was McCoy.Spock followed the sounds to the backroom.

The door was wide open, an unusual occurrence.The doctor was leaning over a restrained man, Nurse Chapel standing next to him.The blonde nurse was too close to McCoy, her shoulder brushing his.Their backs were to the door, either an act of foolishness or bravado.

Spock couldn’t see their hands.He knew that McCoy’s were somewhere on the prisoner, long elegant fingers doing their dangerous work.But he couldn’t see Chapel’s hands.Where were her hands?Was she touching the prisoner, was she touching the doctor?Where were they?

Christine Chapel’s face turned so Spock could see it.She nodded at something the doctor said.Her smile was natural, unforced, the eager student learning at the feet of the master.McCoy was holding out the prisoner’s hand.He took one of Christine’s hands and placed her fingers around the prisoner’s thumb.

Spock fumed. 

He knew McCoy wouldn’t sleep with his staff; it was too dangerous, but that wouldn’t keep others from thinking about what belonged to him.Those hands belonged on Spock, caressing his fingers, clutching at his back as he pounded into the smaller man, wrapping around his cock as pink lips lowered to take him in--

A sharp SNAP brought Spock back to reality.

The man in the chair screamed, his thumb was bent at an unnatural angle.“You got that?” McCoy asked.

“Yes, doctor,” Nurse Chapel said.

McCoy leaned over the restrained man.“Now Martinez, you son of a bitch, you tell me who you’re working for or the lovely Miss Chapel will be practicing her new technique on your other nine fingers.”

Martinez whimpered and shook his head.“I don’t know!”Chapel applied pressure to the broken thumb.“I don’t know!”

“Liar!” Leonard screamed, his hands clutching the sobbing man’s face.

“Doctor.”

McCoy turned from the patient, his face set in a scowl.He hated being interrupted while working. “What is it, Mr. Spock?”His tone was just shy of hostile, perfectly normal for a situation outside the bedroom.

McCoy’s rudeness set Spock’s teeth on edge.“I need to speak with you.”

Leonard looked the Vulcan up and down.Seeing that this was serious, he sighed.“Fine, we’ll go to my office.If you’ll continue, nurse?”

“My pleasure.”Chapel dipped her head in a proper submissive nod, letting her teeth draw back into a sadistic grin.Never let it be said that Christine Chapel didn’t enjoy her work.The door closed with a soft whoosh.They didn’t hear anything after that.

Spock frowned in disapproval.

The doctor misread the expression.“If you’re feeling sorry for the bastard, don’t.The man’s a traitor.He planted a bomb on that nice little starbase we just left, the one with all the children.They found the bomb in time but we don’t know much else.”The doctor continued to ramble as they crossed the room.

McCoy motioned for Spock to enter the office.The door slid shut.

Leonard visibly relaxed as the rest of sickbay disappeared from view.“Now what do you—“

Spock tackled the doctor, pinning him to wall.Only McCoy’s reflexes kept him from smashing into it nose first.“The hell is wrong with you?” Leonard shouted.

A strong Vulcan arm wrapped around his waist, pulling him back against Spock’s arousal.The other hand pushed down against the back of McCoy’s shoulder, keeping him from squirming away.He rutted against the doctor’s clothed ass, the friction a delicious torment.The smell of sweat, fear and antiseptic radiated off the smaller man’s body.It was maddening; he had to have more.Spock’s fingers curled around the doctor’s shirt collar and tugged hard enough to rip.

Spock ran his tongue over the skin right at the juncture of neck and shoulder.Leonard shuddered.The Vulcan worried at that bit of skin, tasting McCoy’s salty perspiration.The doctor twitched and fought, trying to worm his way out of the Vulcan’s arms.“Jesus, we’re on shift.We’ll get caught!”

Spock purred at the struggle.Leonard would wear himself out soon and he could do whatever he wished.He would claim this man’s body again and again.The litany grew in his mind.Mine.Mine.Mine.The Vulcan bared his teeth and bit down.

McCoy yelped, curses streaming out of his mouth.“What the hell’s gotten into you, you bastard?”

Spock stiffened.He pulled his mouth away from the red teeth marks adorning McCoy’s skin.He spun the slighter man around, forcing him to look into the Vulcan’s furious face.Rage from Chekov’s earlier remarks colored his arousal.He growled, “Do not call me that again.”

The doctor was confused, his blue eyes wide and frightened.His hair disheveled, his cheeks a flushed pink.The fabric of his medical blues curled around Spock’s fists.He was pressed against the wall like an animal uncertain where to run.The Vulcan wasn’t sure if he wanted to beat him or fuck him.

Leonard brought his hands up, lightly touching Spock’s fists.He let out a shaky breath and said, “Spock, I’m sorry.I don’t know what’s going on with you, but we’ll figure it out together.All right?“

The soft consolatory voice decided it for him.

Spock pulled McCoy back from the wall and thrust him over the desk.He covered the smaller man’s body, hips grinding into the other’s ass.“Mine, only mine.No one else will touch you.”Spock muttered, his words growing more and more incoherent.Strong hands groped and prodded, caressing cool skin under the uniform shirts, fumbling and tearing at regulation trousers.He needed Leonard naked, needed him bent over willing and open, needed his heat surrounding his cock.He needed it now!

There was a sting of pain against his arm and a hiss.Spock slid off the doctor, sprawling on the floor.McCoy pushed himself of the desk, the hypospray in one hand, the other holding up his ruined pants.As Spock fell into the darkness he heard one last word from the doctor.

“Shit.”


	3.   A Matter of Trust 3/?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spock learns the hard way that trust is a precious commodity in the Mirrorverse. 

Spock was propped upright on an examination bed, his arms and legs restrained by reinforced black webbing.He was in a private room, in deference to his rank.He clenched his fist, tugging at the webbing.Yes, he could pull himself free even with the reinforcement.He decided to keep this knowledge to himself until the appropriate moment.

Dr. McCoy leaned against the wall, clad in a new uniform.Apparently, enough time had passed since Spock was rendered unconscious for the anger to bleed through his system and for the doctor to make himself presentable.

“Good, you’re awake.” 

Leonard waved to someone just out of Spock’s field of vision.The Vulcan felt a sting of pain in his arm, and a soft chuckle answered his growl.It was M’Benga; he was drawing a vial of green blood.

“We waited ‘til you were up so you couldn’t accuse us of stealing your blood.”Dr. Jabilo M’Benga was a brilliant man, one of the few physicians to have studied on Vulcan.Unfortunately, he was also prone to obsequiousness, hoping to curry favor with Spock.It was obvious that he wanted to be CMO, but didn’t have the guts to try to kill Leonard himself.M’Benga’s cowardice and McCoy’s respect for the man’s work were the only things keeping Spock from snapping his neck. 

McCoy rolled his eyes.“M’Benga’s an old-fashioned paranoid.”

“Better paranoid than dead,” M’Benga replied.

McCoy smirked at his subordinate.“Words to live by, doctor.”He then stepped closer to the bound Vulcan, keeping just out of arms reach.“Your vital signs are highly abnormal, even for a green-blooded hobgoblin.It looks like your hormones have been elevated for quite some time.Anything you care to tell me, Mr. Spock?”

There was a long pause as Spock considered what he could and could not share with Leonard.If was going to talk about _pon farr_ at all, it would not be with others present.He glared at M’Benga from the corner of his eye.“If I must discuss this I will only do so with the CMO of this vessel.”

McCoy took the hint.He turned to M’Benga.“Take care of the blood sample, will you doctor?”

M’Benga scurried out of the room, eager to do as asked.The other doctor was always looking for an excuse to examine Spock’s unique physiology.While others would interpret McCoy’s order as a dismissal, M’Benga thought of it as an opportunity.

Once the door was securely shut, Leonard spoke again.“Don’t worry about our reputations.Scuttlebutt says it was just an extension of our natural animosity.Dr. M’Benga even reassured me it was a Vulcan dominance thing.”McCoy let out an undignified snort.

“The pervert was practically salivating talking about it.”His voice dropped to a low mutter.”Probably imagining fucking me in the ass.”

Spock lunged forward, fists tight.How dare he?How dare he?In his mind’s eye he could see it: grabbing M’Benga’s head and squeezing, squeezing, squeezing.Crimson and pink leaking out of the man’s skull as it shattered under Vulcan strength.Green-tinged hands covered in gore, in grey matter as he took Leonard right beside M’Benga’s broken body.Leonard would moan, pant and scream, shouting the Vulcan’s claim.He would cleanse his mate of the other doctor’s filthy, filthy thoughts.

The restraints tore free from the examination bed with frightening ease.McCoy rushed forward, planting his hands against Spock’s chest and shoved the enraged Vulcan back. 

“Spock, calm down.I was joking!”McCoy cradled Spock’s face in his hands.“Just calm down!”

Leonard’s emotions washed over the Vulcan: fear, concern, and a warmth he had no name for.It was soothing, calming the storm in Spock’s mind.Rational thought was returning, banishing the fierce possessiveness that had overtaken him.Simple touch telepathy had never felt this full before, this strong.Spock’s hands reached up to touch McCoy’s face.

The doctor jerked back before Spock could make contact.The First Officer frowned.Had McCoy read his intent for a mindmeld through simple touch, or was the man just that skittish?To reach a conclusion would require more facts.

Seeing Spock’s breathing evening out, McCoy sighed.“Are you calm enough to talk sense now?" 

“Yes, Leonard.”

“Good.”McCoy stepped back, shoulders settling into his professional mode.“As your doctor, I am highly concerned about these readings.Records indicate that you haven’t been eating.Apparently, that slop you were eating before you tried to kill Chekov is the only thing you’ve touched in days.”

Spock answered with perfect detachment.“I have not been hungry.As a Vulcan I can go without food longer than a human.”

“But not that long, this is dangerous to your health,” McCoy insisted.“Paired with your out of whack hormones your body will shut down from the stress within a week, eight days at the most.”

The doctor’s assessment was astute and not unexpected.“I am aware of this.”

“Oh, you’re aware are you?And I suppose you know how to solve this little problem, right?”Leonard was becoming visibly agitated.

Although Spock enjoyed his verbal bouts with the doctor, considering that his own emotional state was tenuous at best, keeping Leonard calm would aid in his own self-control.“I need to go to Vulcan.They have the facilities there necessary for my survival.”

And T’Pring, T’Pring was there.

Spock had only spared a few stray thoughts to the woman since their betrothal as children.They had a mental bond but it had lain dormant for decades.He had never attempted to contact her through the bond to strengthen it, but then again, she had never tried either.

Of course, the fact that Spock didn’t even want T’Pring didn’t matter.He needed a bonded mate to survive the fires of _pon farr_ and, as much as he wanted McCoy, desired McCoy, the man would not submit to the mental bond.

Spock’s mother had trained extensively in the mental arts to prepare her before his father took her as a wife.This allowed her to keep her psyche whole and intact.Before their marriage, there had been whispers on Vulcan of Sarek choosing a human mate so that he would have a docile woman.Amanda had proven to be anything but docile. 

This was what he wished with Leonard, but the man’s previous mental invasions made such a union unpredictable.Without proper healing and training, a mental bond could destroy Leonard, making him useless as a doctor and as a mate.

McCoy asked, “There’s nothing I can do here?”

A mental ripple of want shimmied into Spock’s brain at the innocent question.No, he could not doom Leonard to life as a mental invalid.All he could do was go to Vulcan and marry his intended.Spock shook his head.

“Fine, I’m putting you on temporary medical leave.Your emotional state is too unstable, making you a danger to the crew so you will be confined to quarters,” McCoy recommended.

“That is most agreeable,” Spock agreed.

“I can have a yeoman bring you food—“

“That will not be necessary,” the Vulcan interrupted.

Dr. McCoy frowned.“A yeoman will bring you food at your regularly scheduled meal times.I can have him or her leave it outside your door.Now,” McCoy scribbled something down on his PADD, “do you want me to talk to the captain about detouring to Vulcan?”

Spock thought it over.He had more knowledge of his condition than McCoy and would be in a better position to answer Kirk’s questions.All Leonard would be able to say was that it was a life threatening emergency and not much else.This would most likely not be enough reason for the captain.Besides, the more he kept the other man away from his doctor, the easier Spock could rest.

“I will discuss it with the captain in my cabin.”

McCoy nodded.“I’ll let Kirk know and meet up with you two later.”He reached for the black webbing restraining the Vulcan’s ankles.

Spock frowned, this would not do.“Leonard.”

The doctor looked up, “Yes, Spock.”

“As my emotional state is unstable, I feel it would be best for you to keep contact with me to a minimum.”Spock could see the hurt flit across McCoy’s face.“I find that control is difficult and I may not be able to prevent myself from assaulting you.”

Fear replaced the hurt for a brief moment.Leonard stood up, stiff and formal.“I’ll have Nurse Chapel remove your restraints.”

“That is acceptable.”

McCoy picked up his PADD and left the room.Spock released a calming breath.Once the nurse released him he would retreat to his quarters.There he would meditate to regain his precious control.The Vulcan knew he would need every bit of it to convince Kirk that he had to go to Vulcan.His very life depended on it. 

Spock sat in quiet meditation for an hour before the captain’s arrival.He was cool, he was calm; he could do this.He stood up, uniform crisp and unwrinkled, face implacable.Spock moved to his desk and on his computer he pulled up a picture he had not seen in years.It was T’Pring from the day of their betrothal.

Although only a child, she had the strict Vulcan countenance that betrayed nothing, no emotion, no fear.Spock grunted in disappointment.After spending so much time with the expressive doctor, he wasn’t certain he could ever be pleased with mere stoicism again.The door chimed.He spoke, “Enter.”

The door opened and the golden peacock known as James T. Kirk swaggered into Spock’s quarters.His eyes took in the Vulcan’s expression with a dismissive glance before settling himself into the vacant seat.

“McCoy has given me his medical evaluation of your condition,” he said.He then demonstrated his lack of personal tact by having the audacity to actually set his boots on an unoccupied section of desk.“He says you’re going to die unless we get you to Vulcan.Spock, how is it that the most advanced ship in the fleet can’t help you but your planet can?" 

Spock glared at the offending boots before pushing himself to his feet.“It is a thing no out-worlder may know except those very few who have been involved.”

Kirk stared up at the Vulcan towering over him.“And right now you are making me involved.Explain.”

Spock turned away, moving toward the sanctity of his bedroom.This was not the conversation he wished to have.“It is a deeply personal thing.I cannot explain it, captain.”

Kirk surged to his feet to pursue his fleeing subordinate.“You had better, Mr. Spock.I have an Admiral demanding our presence on Altair Six and I need to have a damn good reason for the _Enterprise_ to be late!”

The situation on Altair Six did not need the _Enterprise_.Spock was well aware that Admiral Komack just wanted them there for intimidation.The presence of two other starships would be more than enough but the Admiral wanted to show off the might of the Empire.

Unfortunately, Komack could not simply be blown off.Spock gritted his teeth; he hated this.“It has to do with biology.” 

Kirk was caught off guard.“What?”

“Biology,” Spock repeated.

“What kind of biology?”

Spock resisted the urge to roll his eyes.“Vulcan biology.”

“You mean the biology of Vulcans?Biology as in reproduction?" 

Now Spock knew that the captain was mocking him.He bit his lower lip to prevent himself from venting his anger in a less productive manner, such as punching his commanding officer in the face.  
  
An unkind smirk graced the captain’s lips.“Well, there’s no need to be embarrassed about it, Spock.It happens to the birds and the bees.”

“The birds and the bees are not Vulcans, captain,” Spock said as if speaking to a small child.“Vulcans do not choose their mates in the same manner as other species.We may shield it in ritual and customs shrouded in antiquity but it is a madness.It strips away our veneer of civilization leaving us the animals we once were.”

The Vulcan shuddered; just talking about this was taboo.To lay bare one of the most damaging secrets of his race was devastating.Yes, this was his captain, a man with whom he had worked for years; a man whose life he had saved and who had saved his life in return.But Kirk was a starship captain; he was Starfleet.And Kirk’s ultimate loyalty was to the fleet and to himself, not to the Vulcan half-breed who was his executive officer.

If Spock had been in his right mind, he would have thought of another solution, but now he had no other choice.Hopefully, it would be the right one.“It is the _pon farr_.The time of mating.”

There was a long pause as Kirk considered all this.“Is that why you attacked Chekov and McCoy?You literally can’t control yourself anymore?”

Spock nodded.“Correct.This is why the doctor has me confined to quarters.”

“I see.”Spock noted that Kirk had discretely moved himself out of lunging distance.“None of this was in Dr. McCoy’s report.”

Spock nodded.“That is because he does not know.”

A strange gleam appeared in Kirk’s eyes; Spock couldn’t read the captain’s intentions.“And why wouldn’t you inform your doctor of this _unique_ problem?”

There were numerous reasons for Spock’s reluctance to discuss the particulars of _pon farr_ with Leonard, but Kirk only needed to know one of them.“As CMO he would have been obligated to report in full regarding my condition to Starfleet Medical.This would have exposed Vulcan’s most closely guarded secret.”

The captain snorted, crossing his arms across his gold command vest.“McCoy can be a little too by the book sometimes.”

Spock sat down again, attempting to relax.“Precisely why I could not tell him.”

Kirk looked at the Vulcan, all trace of humor gone.“Spock,” he said, “I have to tell the Admiral something.Because right now it looks like you physically coerced a medical officer into giving you unscheduled leave.”

Spock scowled at the accusation.“That is not what happened.”

Kirk leaned forward, hands on the desk.“That’s what it will look like to Starfleet!”

The Vulcan smashed his fist down.The PADD on his desk rattled with the blow.“You cannot tell anyone about _pon farr_!”

By now, Kirk was in Spock’s space, his eyes furious.“What is more important Spock, the secret or your life?”

Spock considered it for only a fraction of a second.He answered, voice tight.“I will die to preserve the traditions of my home.”

They stared at each other, human and Vulcan, each trying to read the other.

Kirk rocked back, his face blank.“I’m sorry, Spock.I cannot change course to Vulcan.It was a pleasure serving with you.”He saluted the Vulcan, one of the few times he had ever done so.

Spock felt numb.“I understand,” he muttered. 

Kirk left without another word.

This was it then, he was going to die.Spock brought back the image of T’Pring.She had been his only chance for survival, and now it was gone.He smashed his fist into the computer’s side.The sound of cracking plastic and metal grated on his ears in a most satisfying way.

The damaged monitor lay on the floor, lifeless and dark, just as he would be within a week.Spock closed his eyes and drew in a breath.He needed to prepare himself for the eventual.He would not die in the madness with regrets.

He picked up the PADD and began to write.

The scratch of stylus against PADD was soothing, helping to pass the time.The time that he no longer cared to note, the time he no longer cared to keep.In these letters, he would breathe his last words to the universe.

He had finished composing the letters to his parents and was starting a message to Leonard when the door opened, admitting the doctor.

Leonard was stiff, standing in the doorway with his fists at his sides.“Kirk told me about _pon farr_.”  


Spock did not respond.He had not asked Kirk to give his word; it had been the Vulcan’s fault.He should have expected it but the betrayal still hurt.

Leonard sighed and ran a hand through his hair.“Why didn’t you tell me this was a sex thing?Christ, we’ve had sex before.If you had just asked I would have helped you.”McCoy made his way to Spock’s side, apparently forgetting their earlier encounter.

The Vulcan stiffened; McCoy was close, too close.The older man cupped Spock’s face.The gesture was gentle and all too welcome.What was McCoy doing?The doctor’s thumb stroked the skin of Spock’s cheek.The Vulcan closed his eyes, breathing in the scent and feel of the man he knew so well.

McCoy whispered, his voice a soothing drawl.“All you need to do is ask and it’ll all be over.Then we wouldn’t have to worry about you dying and we won’t have to worry about Vulcan.”  


Spock growled, his hand closing around Leonard’s slender wrist.“Doctor, it is not just a ‘sex thing.’”He stood up and shoved the slighter man against the wall, pinning him.Spock had not told Kirk everything and now Leonard was making offers he did not understand.Stupid humans.“ _Pon farr_ is about reproduction and the continuation of the Vulcan species.”

McCoy winced as Spock tightened his grip.He had to make the human comprehend exactly what was at stake.He had to make Leonard understand why there were no simple solutions.“It requires a mental bond.”

McCoy’s face paled and he recoiled in fear.“I can’t—“ he stuttered.

“I know, Leonard.”Spock let go of McCoy and pinned the other man with his stare.“I know of your reluctance for telepathic contact.That is why I must take a Vulcan wife.”  


Leonard’s mouth hardened into a smooth line.Before Spock could blink, he felt the sting of a hypospray.Anger flared in his gut before dissipating into calm.He did not feel tired as he had the last time Leonard drugged him.“What did you give me?”

“M’Benga and I developed a little cocktail for you.It’s got a mild sedative, some mood stabilizers and some vitamins.Hopefully, it’ll keep your system online until we get to Vulcan,” McCoy explained.

Spock shook his head.“We are not going to Vulcan.”

“Yes, we are,” McCoy said.He pushed his way past Spock to give them both space.“I convinced Kirk to alter course.”

If it weren’t for the drug, Spock would have reeled in shock.“How?”

McCoy sighed; he was steeling himself for something unpleasant.“I told him that I’d owe him a favor.”

His green blood ran cold.“What?” Spock asked.

Leonard snarled, embarrassed and angry.“I didn’t have a choice!”

Spock grabbed the doctor by the shoulders.The ugly possibilities plagued his mind.All these months of wondering if the captain knew, of seeing how the man would stare at his doctor.Kirk could ask for anything, anything and Spock would be unable to stop it.“You don’t know what he wants from you, Leonard.”

“I’ll just have to give him drugs or kill one of his enemies.I won’t enjoy it but it won’t be anything worse than what I did as a junior medical officer.”McCoy shoved Spock back.“I wasn’t going to let you die because I can’t give you what you need!”

For the first time, Spock found himself hating his Vulcan heritage.Outside of his mother, no one else had ever risked this much for him.He wanted to scream, fight, anything to appease this helpless feeling.The doctor was soft, sentimental and it would be his undoing.“You’re a fool,” Spock said. 

Leonard scoffed.“Maybe I am.”He pushed a few hyposprays into Spock’s palm.“See you when we get to Vulcan.”

Then he was gone and Spock was alone with his thoughts.

*****

He spent the next two days in total silence.He spoke to no one, he saw no one.Spock had always considered himself a solitary creature, but the lack of contact was proving to be difficult.Since serving in Starfleet, there had not been a single day where he had not seen someone in the course of his duty.The thought that he could ever feel lonely had never crossed Spock’s mind.His time with humans was creating some interesting weaknesses.

The boatswain’s whistle interrupted his musings.The honeyed tones of Uhura’s voice came over the intercom.“We are now approaching Vulcan, Commander.”

Spock broke out of his meditation and responded with a simple, “Thank you, Lieutenant.”

He did not have much time.In a few short hours he would be wed and the blood fever would take over completely.Spock had to prepare himself.It was a tradition in his clan for a male to have his closest friends with him for the wedding ceremony.However, Spock had few friends on Vulcan and fewer on the _Enterprise_.It would be disgraceful to arrive unaccompanied and he had few options.

He certainly wanted the doctor with him, even if Spock didn’t thoroughly understand his own motives.All he knew was that Leonard had to be there.But McCoy might not wish to be alone with the Vulcan.It might also stir up some rumors since it was still so soon after the attack in sickbay.

The captain was another possibility.Spock respected the captain and it would not be unseemly to ask such a favor of a superior officer.The other man might even find it flattering.

Yes, he would ask Kirk and McCoy to escort him to Vulcan.Spock raised a hail on the intercom.“First Officer to the captain.”

There was a pause as the computer located the man in question.“Kirk here.What do you want, Mr. Spock?”

“Captain, I request that you and Dr. McCoy accompany me to the planet’s surface.”

He could almost hear the smile in Kirk’s voice.“Expecting trouble, Spock?”

“No,” Spock said.“It is merely tradition for a Vulcan male to have his close companions with him during the ceremony.I would appreciate the company of yourself and the doctor.”

Silence.“Do you think McCoy will come?”

Spock hesitated.Leonard had to be there, he had to.“Dr. McCoy should monitor my condition.”

Kirk’s voice was all business.“I’ll make it an order if I have to.Kirk out.”

All that was left was the journey to the surface itself.Spock took a quick inventory of himself.Now that he was out of the meditation and aware of Vulcan’s proximity, he was becoming nervous and agitated.He still had one hypospray left from the supply McCoy had given him.He would take it before leaving for the transporter room.

It would keep the worst of the madness away, allowing him to maintain his dignity before the crew.The drug would also keep Spock from claiming the doctor the moment he saw him.The desire to have McCoy accompany him was irrational; he knew that.Logic dictated that he keep the other man far away so he could concentrate on his new bride.

However, logic had little to do with his relationship to Leonard McCoy.

The boatswain’s whistle sounded again, ordering Spock to the transporter room.He picked up the hypospray with trembling fingers and pressed it against his neck.The drug cocktail flooded his system bringing peace and awareness.

He could do this.

Spock strode to the transporter room unescorted.He saw no one in the halls, nor in the turbolifts.He wondered if they had been ordered clear due to his “medical condition.”Kirk and McCoy awaited him on the transporter pad.The only other party present was Lt. Kyle the transporter tech.

The officers nodded their greetings to each other.Spock noted that they were fully armed as per Empire protocol, but that McCoy also carried his medical bag.

Spock raised an eyebrow in surprise.“Better safe than sorry,” Leonard said, his voice droll.

Kirk nodded to Mr. Kyle.“Beam us down.”The party disappeared in a shimmer of light.


	4.   A Matter of Trust 4/?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spock learns the hard way that trust is a precious commodity in the Mirrorverse.

Vulcan was much as Spock remembered it, red, hot and dry.To feel the winds of his homeworld again after so many years of recycled air was a blessing.Spock turned to watch his companions.

Kirk’s sharp eyes took in everything with a predatory air, examining every rock and crevice for a possible escape route.McCoy on the other hand was only mildly curious.They had beamed down within walking distance of the challenge ground.It was most fortuitous.

They trudged the short distance through the thick sand, toward an edifice of stone.The red rock was rippled, carved by time and the never ceasing winds.Spock led them to the sharply carved archway to the sacred ground of his ancestors. 

The circular arena’s architecture was reminiscent of a rough-hewn version of classical Greece.Metal works of art adorned the walls, all of them pointing toward the middle of the circle.At dead center stood a small raised dais with a rocky outcropping for cover.And there was the gong that signaled the arrival, the union or the challenge.

This was it, he could feel the heat in his body rising, the need for completion, the need to mate.Spock strode to the dais and rang the gong.The sound echoed in the compound.

He heard McCoy mutter in the background, “I wonder when the woman arrives?”

Spock rejoined the men he had chosen as his companions.A tinkling noise reached his ears.“The marriage party approaches.I hear them.”

Kirk raised an eyebrow.“Marriage party?So this is official.There’s going to be a Mrs. Spock?”

McCoy’s voice was quiet, “Who is she?”

Spock looked away from the doctor.“Her name is T’Pring.We were bonded by our parents’ arrangement when we were but seven years of age.”He could feel Leonard’s glare burning into the side of his face.He continued, ”It was less than a marriage but more than a betrothal.” McCoy’s anger seemed to soften, but not by much.“One touches the other in order to feel each other’s thoughts.This locked our minds together so we would both be drawn to Koon-ut-kal-if-fee.”

The noise rose in volume, the party was arriving.Spock moved back to the dais and struck the gong again.Vulcans in ceremonial garb descended from the archway on the arena’s opposite side.Two of the males held belled instruments, shaking them back and forth to release their tinkling sounds.

Two burly guards carried a litter, upon which sat an austere Vulcan woman.She was the matriarch of his clan, T’Pau.Behind her walked T’Pring, her face proper and inscrutable.She kept her gaze forward, not looking at anyone.

Several male Vulcans trailed behind them, including Stonn, a rather unremarkable clansman of Spock’s.He could hear McCoy and Kirk muttering, but their chatter was unimportant.Spock only had eyes for the woman who was to be his bride.The mental bond burned hot and bright, demanding completion.

The guards deposited T’Pau and her litter upon a small platform. She raised her hand in the traditional greeting, her eyes a silent command for him to approach.

Spock raised his hand in turn and moved to the matriarch’s side.He knelt in supplication, offering her his mind.T’Pau’s fingers brushed the side of his face, gnarled knuckles digging into his flesh for a moment before gentling.He submitted to her mental probe, let her dig into the bond and wherever else she wished.She kept her own mind from him, except for a brief flicker of surprise at something she discovered.

It was over in seconds.Spock rose to his feet.T’Pau’s dark eyes glanced over to the humans and for the first time in years, he heard her speak.“Spock, are our ceremonies for outworlders?”

Spock sighed, his voice strained.“They are not outworlders.They are my companions and I am permitted their presence.”

T’Pau gazed critically at Kirk and McCoy.She raised a hand, bidding them to approach.

Spock nodded toward Kirk.“This is Captain Kirk of the _ISS Enterprise_.”

The old Vulcan nodded.“I have heard of your ship, captain.”

Kirk responded with a cocky grin.“Who hasn’t?”

T’Pau ignored the man and turned her attention to the doctor.“And thee are called?”

Leonard bowed his head with all the Southern gentility he possessed.“Leonard McCoy, ma’am.”

Spock saw a glimpse of something cross T’Pau’s face but he didn’t understand it.The matriarch turned her full attention to her clansman.“Thee names these outworlders companions.How does thee pledge their behavior?”

This was an excellent sign.She was not just dismissing them out of hand.“With my life, T’Pau.”

The Matriarch nodded, satisfied with his answer.She turned her dark eyes to the others.“What they are about to see comes down from the time of the beginning, without change.”Her age roughened voice washed over them all, commanding their attention.Even Kirk listened with respectful intent.“This is the Vulcan heart.This is the Vulcan soul.This is our way.”T’Pau’s finger gnarled with age, pointed to the dais.“Kah-if-farr.”

Spock approached the gong once again.He would ring it once more and the ceremony would begin.In just a few moments, he would be wed; he would mate.The fever would not consume him and he would live.He raised the mallet, anticipating the sound that would fill the arena.

T’Pring raised her hand, blocking the mallet’s path.Her eyes were fierce and determined.Spock had never seen this much emotion from her.She then spoke the one word he dreaded hearing this day.“Kal-if-fee!”

No.It was the challenge.Spock turned from T’Pring, dazed with shock.He moved toward the matriarch, only to be blocked by a guard with a large scimitar.T’Pau’s gaze was firm; he would receive no aid from her.

T’Pring was well within her rights and T’Pau would uphold them.Even as his mind screamed, Spock understood.T’Pau was the matriarch, the leader of their people.She was cold, she was cunning, but she was always fair.She upheld the old ways, the traditions that were the backbone of their civilization.She would do what was necessary.

The mallet dropped to the hard sand, his feet taking him to the opposite side of the arena.He pressed his hands together before his face, the fever raging in his mind.T’Pring had challenged; he would have to fight.He would have to fight.

Spock could hear the others talking, but he could not understand the words.Everything was hot, too hot.He was burning.He ached.Why had she challenged?Was he not good enough?Could she not see his worth?What right had she to judge?He did not even want her!

A familiar voice stirred his blood.“Are you trying to say that she rejected him?That she doesn’t want him?”

Of course, the doctor was still here.He didn’t have to fight.He would take Leonard. McCoy wanted him, would not let him die.Spock just had to claim him.No one would dare resist, not even T’Pau.But what if she did? 

“He will have to fight for her,” T’Pau said.“It is her right.”She pinned the Vulcan female with her sharp eyes.“T’Pring, thee has chosen the kal-if-fee, the challenge.Thee are prepared to become the property of the victor?”

There was a ring of triumph in T’Pring’s voice.“I am prepared.”

T’Pau was one of the few beings in the universe whom Spock truly feared and respected.If she forbade him from having Leonard, it would kill him.No, he would see this through in the old way, as T’Pau would wish.

T’Pau turned her lofty gaze to him.“Spock, does thee accept the challenge according to a our laws and customs?”

He answered in the only way he could; he nodded.

Spock looked over to Kirk and McCoy.The _Enterprise_ officers were sizing up the wedding party.The captain was itching for a fight, the tension knotting his shoulders.The doctor, on the other hand, seemed to be looking for an avenue of escape.

“Who do you think Spock’s going to have to fight?” Kirk muttered.

McCoy jerked his head, indicating the Vulcan standing behind Kirk.The doctor rolled his eyes in disgust.“T’Pring’s been making eyes at him this whole time.”

Kirk scoffed at the Vulcan named Stonn.“Spock can take him.”

Ignoring the comments from the peanut gallery, T’Pau continued the ceremony.“T’Pring, thee will choose they champion.”

Clasping her hands before her breasts, T’Pring stepped down off the dais.Perfect, prim and proper, she was the epitome of Vulcan beauty.“As it was in the dawn of our days, as it is today, as it will be for all tomorrows, I make my choice.”

Stonn made his way out from behind Kirk to stand next to the guard.His face was haughty, certain of the outcome.He sneered at Spock, eager to beat the half-breed into submission.

As T’Pring neared Stonn, she peered at him from beneath lowered lashes.Stonn puffed up with pride, his head held high.Their interest in each other was naked, plain for all to see.

Then T’Pring walked straight past him, and pointed with glee at the slouching captain.“This one.”

Spock was enraged.Not only had T’Pring challenged him, but she chose someone other than her intended as the challenger.This was a grave insult and apparently, Spock wasn’t the only one to think so.

“No!I am to be the one.It was agreed!”Stonn trembled with poorly concealed indignation.

“Be silent,” T’Pau warned, voice sharp as a whip.

Stonn persisted, approaching the seated matriarch.“I have made the ancient claim to her!I claim the right.The woman is—“

“Kroykah!”The command was like a crack of thunder through the challenge ground.The guard’s sword moved in to separate T’Pring from her thwarted suitor.The Vulcan woman bowed her head in deference to T’Pau.

Stonn clenched his fists, spine ramrod straight.He clenched his teeth together and said, “I ask forgiveness.”

McCoy shook his head and turned to his superior officer.“This is bullshit, captain!You don’t have to be a Vulcan to figure out something stinks." 

T’Pau glared at McCoy out of the corner of her eye.“T’Pring is within her rights.However, the doctor’s assessment, though crude, is correct.Our laws and customs are not binding on thee.Thee are free to decline with no harm on thyself.”

Kirk looked around the arena at the expectant Vulcans.It was clear from T’Pau’s tone what she wanted.She wanted the captain to decline, forcing T’Pring to pick another challenger.There would be no harm to Vulcan custom and no harm to Kirk’s life.It was perfectly logical.

Unfortunately, Captain James T. Kirk’s career had not been made on logical decisions.“I don’t see a problem.Sure, I’ll fight him.”

McCoy’s jaw dropped in shock.“Captain!”

The Vulcans did not say a word, but the force of their silent disapproval hung in the air.

Spock mentally reeled.No.No!This is was not what he wanted!Kirk was his captain, his superior officer.Others may kill to get into high command positions, but not Spock.Not Spock.

“We just knock each other around until one of us falls, right?This should be fun.”The captain smiled, dark joy settling in his features.“I always wanted to see if Spock could really fight.” 

The doctor grabbed Kirk’s shoulders as if he could shake sense into the younger man.“Kirk, you don’t understand,” McCoy said.“Spock physically outmatches you in every way.He could easily overpower you.”

Kirk chuckled.“Speaking from personal experience, doctor?”

McCoy flushed red in humiliation.He drew back, shoulders tight.“My job is to take care of the ship’s crew, including any idiot captains that command her!”

Kirk’s hand darted out and clamped on the back of McCoy’s neck.He drew the other man close, his fingers coiled in a strong grip.His thumb stroked the side of the doctor’s cheek with possessive intent.McCoy shivered and tried to pull back.James Kirk’s lips curved into a cruel smile.“Why Leonard,” he said, his voice purring the name.“I didn’t know you cared.”

Spock growled.The doctor was afraid, his mate was afraid.Why was Kirk touching Leonard?Why was the captain touching what was his?Did he know?Did he know?

Kirk just glanced over his shoulder at his opponent, unconcerned.He released the doctor and strode into the arena proper.A guard took a purple cloth and wrapped it above Spock’s golden command sash, obscuring the color.

T’Pau spoke again.“Here begins the act of combat for possession of the woman, T’Pring.”Her eyes rolled, as if she was communing with spirits unseen.“As it was at the time of the beginning, so it is now.Bring forth the lirpa.” 

A pair of guards brought forth weapons wrapped in a purple cloth.They were unwrapped to reveal the lirpa, a two-sided Vulcan weapon.On one end was a sharp curved blade; on the other was a blunt battering ram.Spock knew the weapon well.His father had trained him on its proper use as a child.

Being of two natures, Sarek had known that Spock would be a target of harassment and assassination.The weapon had served as an excellent deterrent through Spock’s growing years, but now it would be an instrument for murder.

Spock held the lirpa in his hands, familiarizing himself with its weight.The blade was excellently honed.It would sink into flesh with little effort.Red arterial blood would spray out as he sliced open the usurper’s neck.

Kirk twirled the weapon, getting a feel for it.When the Vulcan guards were out of the way he said, “Let’s hurry up and get this over with.You can get married, bang your wife and we’ll get back to business.”

Dead glassy eyes would stare into the red sky as Spock took his rightfully won consort.But which one?The bond cried for the woman but his blood, oh his blood screamed for the man.

“And don’t worry about the doctor.”Kirk’s canines flashed in the planet’s harsh sun.“I’ll take good care of him.”

Challenge!

Spock lunged for Kirk, the curved blade aimed right at his chest.The startled human lifted his own weapon to block the blow.His legs bent under the strain of keeping the Vulcan at bay.

“If both survive the lirpa, combat will continue with the ahn woon,” T’Pau said, face impassive.

“If both survive?” McCoy asked.

T’Pau locked gazes with him.“This combat is to the death.”

“I didn’t agree to this!” Kirk protested.With strength born of fear, the captain pushed, sending Spock stumbling backward.

The matriarch’s tone was cold and final.“Yes, thee did.”

The Vulcan rushed his captain, the lirpa twirling in a furious display of raw power.Kirk did his best to dodge with his meager human strength and agility.But what Captain Kirk lacked in strength, he made up for in strategy.

Seeing an opening, Kirk struck Spock with the lirpa’s blunt side.The blow only made the Vulcan falter for a moment, but it was enough for Kirk to get out of range.They circled each other, one fighter determined to kill and the other trying to save his own skin. 

Spock dashed forward, smashing Kirk into the ceremonial gong.Both weapons were thrown clear in the impact as the gong shattered.The Vulcan grasped at the closest lirpa and thrust it at Kirk.

The captain dodged back, his sharp eyes waiting for Spock to overextend himself.A perfect moment!Kirk grasped the weapon and used the Vulcan’s momentum to flip him through the air.

Unfazed by the fall, Spock sprang to his feet.The Vulcan pressed on, hatred filling his sight as he scored a gash along his captain’s chest.The sight of red blood inflamed Spock’s anger.Victory!Victory!

Spock slammed the blunt side of the lirpa into the captain, knocking the blond to the ground.The Vulcan raised the blade high.Death to the challenger!

“Spock, no!”

His mate.McCoy.Leonard.Leonard was distressed.Where was he? 

McCoy’s outburst saved the captain’s life.Kirk rolled out of the way, the blade missing him by bare inches.T’Pau stood, “Kroykah!”

The command broke through the blood fever.He could not kill yet.Not yet.Spock plunged the weapon into the ground.He paced back to the dais, watching his enemy through lidded eyes.

Kirk sat panting on the ground, gasping for breath.It would not take much; the challenger would be an easy kill.Spock’s lips curved into a sharp grin, the beard framing his teeth.

Tried of just standing by, McCoy went before T’Pau.“Is this Vulcan chivalry?The air’s too hot and thin for Kirk.He’s not used to it.”

T’Pau raised an eyebrow.“The air is the air.What can be done?”

The doctor pulled a hypospray from his medical bag.“I can compensate for the atmosphere and the temperature with this.”

“Why should I allow this?” T’Pau asked.

McCoy’s blue eyes glared.“Because Spock will never forgive himself if this isn’t a fair fight.”

The matriarch nodded at this wisdom.“Thee may proceed.”

Leonard bowed his head and raced to his captain’s side.He knelt down and examined the other man’s injuries.

Spock’s head tilted up to watch.Why was his mate attending the challenger?Why was he touching the usurper?Spock snarled; hands curled into claws.

Leonard just sneered at the Vulcan’s display.“Don’t be an idiot, Spock.The man’s our captain.”

The doctor drove the hypospray into Kirk’s arm.The other man yelped and glared at McCoy.“What the hell was that?”

“It’s a tri-ox compound.It’ll help you breathe,” McCoy explained.“Try not to get yourself killed.”He clapped his captain on the shoulder, making the younger man wince.McCoy made his way back to T’Pau’s side. 

Kirk just rolled his eyes.“Sound medical advice.”He stumbled to his feet, swaying a little from blood loss.

T’Pau raised her head to the guards.“The ahn woon!” she ordered.

The guards brought out two cloth weapons and handed them to the combatants.Kirk stared at the weapon and shrugged his shoulders in frustration.“What the fuck is this?’ he complained as the guards left with the discarded lirpas.

Spock examined the weapon and whipped it around like a bola.The ahn woon lashed out and wrapped around Kirk’s legs.Spock yanked the man off his feet and whipped the weapon down at Kirk’s face.

The challenger rolled out of the way and snagged the cloth as it passed him.The two combatants struggled for control of the ahn woon as Spock pulled the other man to his feet.Using his remaining strength, Kirk spun Spock around and slammed him into the arena’s wall.

The Vulcan slumped to the ground, but quickly regained his footing.Kirk lunged for the other ahn woon, but it was too late.Spock pounced on the human, the two of them wrestling for dominance.The ahn woon curled around Kirk’s neck and the Vulcan pulled it tight.

The human’s fingers curled around Spock’s neck but the strength wasn’t there.Kirk gasped and clawed at his neck.Spock squeezed and squeezed.The challenger’s face turned red, then blue as he stopped breathing. 

Kirk went limp, slumping to the side.Spock rose to his feet, savage glee on his face.He tugged his opponent up by the neck.

“Kroykah!”

Yes, he had won!He had won!

McCoy raced from the sidelines, shoving Spock away.“Get your hands off of him, Spock!”

Startled, the Vulcan dropped the captain’s body.He watched as his mate, his rightfully won and soon to be claimed mate, examined the challenger’s body.No, not the challenger it was the captain, Captain Kirk.What had he done? 

Leonard confirmed it.“He’s dead.”

Spock reached out for the doctor, but the other man flinched away.He had killed his captain.He had murdered, and now he was in command of the ship.

“I grieve with thee,” T’Pau said with complete sincerity.

McCoy ignored the pleasantry and pulled out his communicator.“McCoy to _Enterprise_.”

“ _Enterprise_ , Lt. Uhura here.”

“Have the transporter room stand by to beam up the landing party.”Leonard rose from his crouch and walked to his superior officer.“Mr. Spock, you’re in command now.Any orders?’

Spock removed his ceremonial sash and gave it to the guards.He was cool.He was calm.He was in control again.“Yes.I’ll follow you up in a few minutes.” 

McCoy looked startled.His eyes flicked over to T’Pring.“But I thought—" 

Spock raised an eyebrow.He would permit no argument.“I will meet with you in sickbay to discuss arrangements for the captain’s body.”

Leonard hesitated, not moving.Spock reached out, his hand curled around the back of his doctor’s neck.His grip was gentle, but firm.He did not stroke the other man’s cheek; it would not do to remind his mate of the captain’s touch.Spock allowed himself the simple pleasure of feeling his mate’s skin again.

Leonard was thrumming with tension, but no fear.Good, he never wanted Leonard afraid of him again.“We will continue this discussion later.”

McCoy nodded, mouth dry.“All right.”The doctor moved away and retreated back to his fallen superior’s side.The transporter beam shimmered into view, taking the doctor and the dead man back to the ship.

Once they were out of sight, Spock contemplated his next move.He was in command of the ship and much would have to be done to make certain no one moved against him.These next few hours would be critical, but all things in their due time.

Spock strode before T’Pring, still defiant and tall.She was now his property to do with as he pleased, but he did not want her.

Stonn glared at him with dark hate, but he would not challenge.He could not challenge.All that remained was T’Pring’s ultimate fate.It was in Spock’s hands, but before he decided, he needed to know one thing: “T’Pring, explain.”


	5.   A Matter of Trust 5/?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spock learns the hard way that trust is a precious commodity in the Mirrorverse. 

She answered with perfect Vulcan honesty.“Stonn wanted me.I wanted him.”

Spock shook his head.“Let me clarify,” Spock said.“I meant explain why you chose the captain as your champion.”

T’Pring glanced at Stonn before returning her gaze to Spock.“Stonn was here on Vulcan, you were always away.Although bonded we have never spoken, have never made contact.I grew to know Stonn and I wanted him.I also discovered that he wanted me but I was betrothed to you.I could only divorce you by the kal-if-fee." 

Everything she had said had been the simple truth, but it was one that he had already guessed.“I had ascertained that,” Spock said.His eyes narrowed in hostility, ”I am no fool.”

T’Pring flinched.For the first time, Spock saw a chink in T’Pring’s Vulcan armor.He pressed on.“But you have not told me why you chose the captain.”  


“If your captain were the victor, he would not want me, and so I would have Stonn.If you were victor you would free me because I had dared to challenge, and again I would have Stonn.But if you did not free me,” T’Pring paused, as if troubled by the thought, but she continued, “it would be the same.For you would be gone, and I would have your name and property, and Stonn would still be there.”

Spock contemplated this.He could read truth between her words.It was in her posture and in her tone.Spock had spent too much time with humans not to be able to read body language.To the other Vulcans she revealed nothing but to Spock she revealed all.

T’Pring did not just _want_ Stonn; she burned for him.This was not a situation born of convenience or mere lust.T’Pring wanted to protect Stonn from physical harm and had done what she thought was right.Spock now understood why McCoy had placed himself at risk with the captain for Spock’s sake.He finally understood.And it was because of this knowledge that he took no pleasure in what happened next.“Logical.Highly logical."  

T’Pring bowed her head.“I am honored.”

“But flawed.”

Her composure cracked and she blinked, startled.“Pardon?” 

“You failed to take one aspect of the situation into consideration, male Vulcan pride,” Spock said.

T’Pring’s eyebrows furrowed in agitation.“Explain.”

Spock continued, “By not allowing Stonn to fight as your champion, you have insulted him.”

The Vulcan woman’s lips parted in shock.“I would never—“

“You have made him appear physically weak and incompetent in front of the clan and her matriarch,” Spock said.

“Others have chosen champions who were not their intendeds before,” T’Pring argued.“It is there in our history.”

“True,” Spock said.“But in every case the intended challenger was too weak or infirm to participate in combat.A relative of the challenging party was then chosen as the champion to negate conflict of interest.By choosing Kirk as your champion you have informed the clan that you believe Stonn is weak and that you do not respect him.”

T’Pring shook her head.“It is not true.That is not—“ She looked at her lover.“Stonn!”

The other Vulcan turned away, hiding his face.The woman’s eyes widened.“Stonn?”

“If he were to accept you, he would be accepting his weakness,” Spock said.“He may gain his pride back in time, but it would be long and difficult.”  


“And you will not claim me,” T’Pring said.

“Correct.”

T’Pring clenched her fists and glared at Spock.“Then what will happen to me?” 

“You will be chattel in the House of Surak,” he answered.“They will do with you what they wish.I will have no part in it.”

T’Pring deflated, all of her pride and poise leeching from her body.“Is this true?” she asked the matriarch.

“Yes, thee will be property to be bartered or sold to whomever wants you.Thee will have no rights as a Vulcan free woman.The challenge was lawful and by rightful custom,” T’Pau explained.Her gaze softened in sympathy, “But the champion was not.”

T’Pring’s eyes glittered.“So you will not help me.”

The matriarch’s words were final.“I cannot.”

She stood there in the arena, small and frail.T’Pring swallowed back tears as she pleaded once more with Stonn.“Will you not have me, even as chattel bought and paid for?”

Stonn never answered, he didn’t even deign to look at her.

Spock had never been one for sympathy, but it was what he felt now for this wretched creature that was once a woman.T’Pring bowed her head.She was lost in her own misery.

“Are thee ready to go to the House of Surak?” T’Pau asked.Her voice was gentle and calm.The last time Spock had heard her speak this way he had been a small child alone and tormented, much like T’Pring was now.

The scorned woman screwed her eyes shut.“I would rather die.” 

T’Pau’s response shocked them all.“If it is what thee wish, we will grant it.”

T’Pring was wary.“How?”

“Spock is still thy master until you are taken into the House.”The Vulcan elder dipped her head at her clansman.“If he wishes to dispose of you, he can.”

It was a simple, if inelegant solution.The House of Surak would not have to deal with an unwanted slave, the honor of all Vulcans present would be satisfied and, most importantly, T’Pring would keep her pride.He saw the wisdom in this, but Spock would only do it if it were what T’Pring truly desired.“Is this what you wish?” 

Spock could feel the hope in her eyes.“If Stonn will not have me then I have nothing.”

He gestured for T’pring to step forward.She stood before him, her head raised.She would not go into the black night with fear.

Spock’s large hands cradled the woman’s face.She was beautiful and cunning in her own strange way.Even as chattel she would have made an excellent companion for any Vulcan.It was a pity that Stonn was a fool.Spock whispered as his hands lowered to her throat.“I am only sorry that the one whom you chose as a mate is unworthy of you.”

His hands tightened.

SNAP!It was over.T’Pring slumped lifeless to the ground, her eyes closed in peace.Stonn screamed in grief but he was too late.He knelt in the dust next to his beloved and cradled her body.

Here was true weakness, the inability to acknowledge her in life.If Stonn had been a stronger Vulcan he could have endured the ridicule for her devotion.Their lives together could have been full, even with the scorn of others.His was a sickening cowardice.

Spock scrutinized the remaining Vulcans.“Honor has been satisfied.Let no one speak ill of T’Pring from this day forth.”He whipped out his communicator. “ _Enterprise_ , one to beam up.”

The matriarch held up her hand in the Vulcan salute.Her gaze was steady, she was proud of him.“Live long and prosper, Spock.”

Spock just raised an eyebrow.“I have no choice.Energize.” 

*****

The moment he materialized on the _Enterprise_ , Spock made his way to sickbay.As he passed the crew in the halls they watch him with wary eyes.It was obvious that they were uncertain as to his mental state.Once he had dealt with his immediate concerns he would demonstrate his power to them all.

But for now he had a captain to bury and a doctor to pacify.

Leonard was alone in his office, scratching something onto one of the numerous PADDs on his desk.

Spock entered the room, placing his hands behind his back.“Dr. McCoy.”

Leonard paused in his work and glared at Spock from over his shoulder.“That didn’t take long.You usually have more stamina than that.”

Spock bristled.Apparently the doctor was operating under a mistaken assumption.It would be best to rectify this.“I did not take T’Pring.”

McCoy scowled in disbelief.“Then what the hell was that little song and dance down there all about?Was that just for kicks?”

Spock was too tired to deal with this.“It was a matter of biological imperative and Vulcan custom.I had no choice.”

“Bullshit.”

The Vulcan stepped toward his intended.“Leonard—“

McCoy pointed his stylus at Spock in warning.“Don’t.”

Spock pressed forward, leaning into the smaller man.“There is much that I must discuss with you.”He took in the comforting scent of his doctor.They did not have time for much, but Leonard needed to know how much he was still wanted.Spock’s lips caressed McCoy’s neck.“Things of a personal nature.”

Leonard’s eyes flicked toward the door and he shoved Spock away.“Not now.”It was not a request.The other man was agitated and fidgety.Spock knew from experience that the doctor acted like this when there was the possibility of discovery.

“As you wish,” Spock said.He moved to a more respectable distance.They would continue this later in McCoy’s quarters.Although his urges were no longer violent, he still needed to reassert his claim over the doctor.He also had to make Leonard pay for that remark regarding his stamina.

Spock allowed his thoughts to drift to a more professional topic.“There is the problem of Captain Kirk to discuss.Starfleet custom maintains that we dispose of him by firing him into space.However, I believe that his parents would wish to view the body beforehand.”

McCoy rubbed his eyes.“Spock—“

“There is the fear that the body would be desecrated by disgruntled crewmen, but we shall have security measures in place,” Spock continued. 

Leonard spoke louder in annoyance.“Spock!”

The Vulcan ignored him, pacing as he talked.“Thus we shall lock it in the morgue.” 

A sarcastic voice cut through Spock’s monologue.“Don’t you think you better check with me first?”

The First Officer spun around and was startled to see a dead man walking.Captain James T. Kirk leaned in the office doorway, watching them with a shit-eating grin.“Captain?”

“Damn right,” Kirk answered.

“How much did you hear?” Spock asked.

Kirk swaggered into the office.“Enough to know that you don’t think anyone respects the dead on this ship.”

Spock raised an eyebrow.“Merely an observation based on previous experience.”He looked the captain up and down.The man appeared to be in perfect health.“You are uninjured.How was this accomplished?” 

“Blame McCoy.”Kirk clamped a friendly hand on the doctor’s shoulder.The other man tossed it off with disgust, but Kirk was in too good a mood to make an issue of it.“That was no tri-ox compound he shot me with.”He leaned forward and spoke in a conspiratorial whisper, “He slipped in a neural paralyzer.It knocked me out and simulated death.”

Spock was impressed at his doctor’s ingenuity.He had always admired Leonard’s intelligence but seeing it in action was a distinct pleasure.“Indeed.”

Kirk laughed.“It was a good trick.”His hand slipped back to Leonard’s shoulder, gripping it tight.“Don’t ever do that again.”

McCoy scoffed.“Don’t ever get into a fight with a Vulcan then.” 

“I’ll keep that in mind.”Kirk turned to his First Officer.“Come on, let’s get to the bridge.”

“No,” McCoy insisted, pointing at the captain.“You’re cleared for duty but I don’t know if this _pon farr_ thing has left Spock’s system.”

The geniality Kirk had shown earlier died a quick death as he let his command persona take over.“You can do a thorough physical later,” he ordered.“Right now we need to suppress any rumors of my untimely demise.”

Spock nodded in agreement.“Quite right, captain.”Kirk moved out the office, Spock following close behind him.

“Wait a minute!”McCoy sputtered in disbelief.He grabbed Spock’s arm.“What the hell happened on that planet?And what about T’Pring?”

There was little time.Command presence had to be made known on the ship and thus Spock decided to be brief.“I killed her.”

The doctor let go of Spock’s arm, his face a mask of quiet surprise.The Vulcan turned from him and trailed after his captain, leaving a silent doctor in his wake. 

*****

In the turbolift, Kirk smirked as he set their destination.“You killed the woman for challenging you?That’s not really your style, is it?”

Spock sighed.Explaining Vulcan cultural mores to a Starfleet captain was not how he wanted to spend the rest of his shift.“She asked me to after Stonn rejected her.”

“Stonn?”Kirk snorted.“What about you?Isn’t she your wife?”

“I only wanted her because of _pon farr_ , without it she was no longer my concern,” Spock explained.“As such she was available for Stonn to claim but, due to circumstances, he declined.”

“Declined?”Kirk said, incredulous.“Because he didn’t get to fight you himself?”

“Precisely,” Spock answered, a little surprised that Kirk had the insight to understand.Then again, he was the captain.If Kirk had been unable to read social situations he never would have made it in Starfleet.

It was at that moment that Spock realized that he had been allowing himself to underestimate Kirk.He admonished himself for being so foolish.He had allowed his feelings for Leonard to cloud his judgment.James Kirk was a brilliant man, to forget that would invite disaster.

They were almost to the bridge when Kirk pressed the emergency stop.The lift screeched to a halt.Spock regarded his superior.The captain only pulled such theatrics when he needed to make a point.

“I wasn’t going to let you die, Spock,” Kirk said.

The Vulcan raised an eyebrow.“Sir?”

“I had already set a course for Vulcan before I spoke to you,” the captain answered.“I wanted you to know that.”

This was most curious.Oftentimes Kirk would act in a manner that was baffling until he revealed his true plans.What could the man have been thinking?“Then why the deception?”

Kirk crossed his arms before his chest.“When you mentioned that Dr. McCoy was unaware of the particulars of _pon farr_ I got an idea.McCoy is a brilliant doctor and there are certain situations that require his expertise.The problem is he’s picky about when he will use that expertise, even in the service of the Empire.”

Spock knew exactly what Kirk was referring to.“He seemed more than eager to torture Martinez.”

The captain smirked.“He was doing a great job until you interrupted him.”

Spock ignored the jab. 

“The thing is he will only work on those he knows or thinks is guilty.If there’s any chance that someone might be innocent, he won’t do it,” Kirk explained.“I can’t risk the security of my vessel because the good doctor decides to grow a conscience.”

It was a reasonable explanation.Anyone else would have accepted it.But Spock knew that there more than enough people qualified and willing to torture on the _Enterprise_.Kirk wouldn’t even need to order them, he could simply ask for volunteers.

Spock needed more data before he could draw a conclusion.“What made you believe that my situation would help you with the doctor?We are not on the best of terms.”

Kirk smiled.“I figured McCoy would have considered you a patient and he gets a little _illogical_ when it comes to his patients.”

The Vulcan admired the man’s strategy.“I have observed this trait as well.”

“Even if the ploy hadn’t worked, I still would have taken you to Vulcan,” Kirk said.That’s when Spock noticed the captain’s arm twitch.

Weeks ago, as he had lain in a post-coital haze with Leonard they had begun conversing about their crewmates’ “tells.”Spock had explained that he was having difficulty discerning when the captain was lying when McCoy said, “That’s because he’s the best damn liar I ever met.Probably the best one you’ve ever met too, and you’re a Vulcan.”

Spock had scowled, “Vulcans do not lie.”

Leonard had snorted.“No, you just prevaricate or lie by omission.”He had softened the remark with a lazy grin.“But I figured it out.His arm twitches just slightly when he lies.I noticed it during negotiations with the Klingons last month.”

The Vulcan had taken the doctor’s words into consideration and came to the conclusion that the man was, indeed, correct.Now that knowledge was paying off.

Kirk’s voice drew Spock out of his thoughts.“I’m just thankful McCoy is so predictable,” he said as he restarted the lift. 

Before Spock could respond, the lift doors opened, ending the conversation.Kirk swaggered onto the bridge, the hateful stares of his crew following him.Apparently, they were disappointed that the rumors of Kirk’s death had been exaggerated.Spock followed his captain, hands behind his back, as was his custom.

He gave Kirk a respectful nod before returning to his station.It was a small gesture but one with a powerful message: Spock’s loyalty remained with the captain. But now that the man was lying to him, Spock wondered how long that would last. 

*****

At shift’s end, Spock held in a sigh of relief.He had been expecting a coup or some other disruption, not hours of a sullen bridge crew doing their duty.The challenge had tired him but his mind was sharp and alert, finally free from the influence of his Time.

But there was nothing on the ship that required his attention.There were no mysteries to solve, no schemes to thwart.All that was left to him was to reconcile with Leonard.The First Officer was under no delusions regarding the doctor.McCoy had every right to be angry with him and there was much he would have to endure to get back into the man’s good graces.The sooner he could begin, the sooner he could stabilize their relationship.

He moved through the corridors of the ship, keeping himself out of sight of any errant crewmen as he made his way to the doctor’s door.Spock entered without knocking, as was his custom and waited by the entrance.

Leonard was perched on his bed, a PADD in his hands.He glanced over the edge of the device and raised an eyebrow.“What the hell do you want?”

“You wished to perform a physical on me,” Spock answered.

“Right,” McCoy muttered.He set the PADD down and grabbed a medical tricorder from his nightstand.He had obviously been expecting Spock, even if he was pretending otherwise.

The doctor rose and swept the device over Spock’s body.“Your sex hormone levels are a little high and your body is exhausted, but it’s nothing a jerkoff and some rest can’t fix.”

Spock’s lips curled into, what he hoped, was a seductive smile.“Would you like to help me with that, doctor?”

McCoy leveled him with a steel blue gaze and turned the tricorder off.He answered with one word.“No.”

The Vulan’s face slipped back into a more neutral expression.“Why not?”

Leonard shook his head.“Do you know what you almost did to me, Spock?”

He was calm as he answered.“I assaulted you.” 

McCoy didn’t sugarcoat it.“You tried to rape me.”

Spock tried to explain, “I was under the influence of—“

Leonard waved an impatient hand.“I know you weren’t in control of yourself but that doesn’t change what happened.It also doesn’t excuse it.”

The Vulcan lowered his head.“I am sorry, Leonard.”

Leonard closed his mouth and just stared at Spock.His eyes pierced the Vulcan, as if trying to piece together a puzzle.

Spock was uncertain what this reaction meant.He took a cautious step forward.“Leonard?”

“You just apologized,” Leonard said.He looked at the Vulcan like he was an interesting new species of insect.“I didn’t even have to prompt you.”

The Vulcan frowned.“I do not understand.”

The doctor muttered to himself.“I don’t think I do either.Christ, you’re confusing.”He slumped down on his bed and rubbed his eyes.“First you say you just want sex, then you start getting possessive and acting like—“

Leonard cut himself off.He sighed and looked up at the standing Vulcan.“Sit down, you’re making me nervous.”

Spock took one of the doctor’s chairs and perched on the end of it, stiff as a statue.This conversation was not quite was he was expecting.

“I don’t like not being in control of my situation Spock, especially when it comes to sex,” McCoy explained.“I like having boundaries but you keep moving them.And then you only tell me that you’ve moved them part of the time!”

“Leonard—“

The doctor stood up, pointing at the Vulcan.“Shut up.I’m not done,” McCoy snapped.

Spock waited.He would hear the other man out.

Leonard started to pace back and forth, agitation in his every step.“You tell me that you have this biological urge every seven years, but you don’t tell me that I’m the other woman in some Vulcan psycho-sexual soap opera.Then you get your space period, try to kill Chekov, almost rape me in my own sickbay, then you have the audacity not to tell me everything about your own condition.”

The doctor stopped walking and stalked toward the seated Vulcan.His footfall held the grace of an angry predator, not something many lived to see.“I risk my goddamn neck for you, get your ass onto Vulcan, help you fake _murdering_ _the captain_ and then you kill the woman you’re supposed to fuck to save your life.”McCoy grasped Spock’s shoulders, his grip almost hard enough to hurt.He shook the seated First Officer.“What the fuck do you want from me, Spock?”

“What I have always wanted from you, Leonard.”Spock shrugged off the doctor’s hands and grabbed the smaller man.He pulled Leonard into his lap, one arm pinning the doctor at his back, the other pulling Leonard’s lips to his.

They kissed with frantic urgency.With every brush of the lips and caress of the tongue, Spock could feel the conflicting surface emotions rushing through the doctor: lust, want, fear and self-loathing.McCoy’s teeth bit into the Vulcan’s lower lip.Spock jerked at the unexpected pain.Leonard wanted this, wanted him.Spock could feel it.Why did the doctor resist him?

The smaller man drew back, blue eyes blazing. He moved his hands up to Spock’s chest, trying to shove himself off the Vulcan.But Spock’s grip was too tight; all he could do was thrash in the other’s arms. Leonard snarled.“You killed her, you son of a bitch.”

Now he understood, Leonard still did not know the full situation with T’Pring.“I did because she asked me to.”

McCoy stilled.His eyes narrowed in disbelief.“I thought she was your wife.”

“She was my betrothed and she challenged me,” Spock said.

Leonard scowled.“She rejected you and you killed her.”

Spock’s tone was pure ice.“T’Pau would not have allowed me to kill my betrothed after a lawful challenge.If I had committed such an act, I would now be on Vulcan serving out my punishment.”The First Officer was thankful that only two humans had accompanied him to the planet’s surface.Having to discuss the consequences of his failed betrothal was unpleasant, having to do it multiple times even more so.

“After the challenge, T’Pring became my chattel,” Spock said.“When I thought I killed the captain the fires of _pon farr_ waned and I no longer had a need for her.I rejected T’Pring, leaving her open for Stonn.”

Leonard was wary, but no longer projecting outright hostility.Spock was making progress.“Stonn was the one who expected to fight?” McCoy asked. 

Spock nodded.He relaxed his grip on Leonard, rubbing the smaller man’s back in soothing circles.“Correct.But since Kirk was chosen as the champion, it injured Stonn’s pride.He could not see past it to claim T’Pring.”

“Christ.”McCoy leaned forward, allowing himself to rest against the Vulcan’s chest.His face nuzzled into Spock’s shoulder.“So she was alone then?”

Spock did not answer, letting the doctor draw his own conclusions.Even though he could not get specifics, Spock could tell that McCoy’s mind was racing.So many emotions swirled together that the Vulcan could not tell one from the other.It was several minutes before Leonard spoke again.

“Why did she do it?Why did she let Kirk fight for her?” McCoy asked.

“Because she wanted to protect Stonn from harm,” Spock replied, thinking of McCoy’s sacrifice for Spock.He debated baiting his doctor, but decided against it.The situation was too delicate right now.

McCoy snorted in disgust.“What an idiot.”

The Vulcan frowned.“I will not tolerate anyone speaking ill of T’Pring.”

“I wasn’t talking about T’Pring,” Leonard said.He pushed himself into an upright position.“Did she feel any pain?” he asked.

“It was quick.If she felt any sensation it was only momentary,” Spock answered. 

“Good.”

Spock reached up and held Leonard’s chin.He ran his thumb over the doctor’s bottom lip.“Are you still angry with me?”

“Yes,” McCoy admitted.It was true; Spock could feel the anger pulsing under the doctor’s other emotions.But the self-loathing and disgust were gone.Lust pushed itself to the surface as Leonard scraped his teeth over the pad of the questing digit.“We’re not done talking yet.”

“Leonard,” Spock said, his other hand drifting down the doctor’s back.“I fear that my concentration for such an effort will be impaired.”He cupped Leonard’s ass and pushed their pelvises together, letting the CMO feel his hardening arousal.“As certain hormones are at an elevated level.”

Leonard gasped.“You sneaky bastard.”His hips ground forward in encouragement.“You are not telling me it’s my medical duty to let you fuck me.”

“I do not presume to prescribe,” Spock murmured, nuzzling the doctor’s neck.He allowed himself the luxury of nipping at Leonard’s skin when he felt the other man stiffen in alarm.Spock pulled away and looked at the other man’s face.

Leonard’s eyes were blown wide with something akin to fear.“Don’t do that.”

“Leonard, what is wrong?”

“I—“ McCoy closed his eyes for a moment, collecting his thoughts.“I always knew you were stronger than me, but I didn’t know how strong until you assaulted me in sickbay.I don’t like feeling helpless." 

Leonard was drawing away from him.Spock could feel the man closing himself off.“Leonard, I am sorry.I won’t—“

McCoy shook his head.“I don’t know if I can do this.”

He would not allow this.Leonard was too important to him.Spock would not allow his own pride to blind him to this.He would not act as Stonn did and do nothing.He took McCoy’s hand and kissed the palm.“Please Leonard, I will do whatever you ask of me.I have wronged you and wish to set things right.”He laced their fingers together and gently squeezed.“I want you.”

Leonard scoffed.“But for how long?”

“Doctor,” Spock began, “I cannot prevent you from leaving our arrangement and I will not harm you if you do.But if anyone else fell into your bed, they would not live to see morning.”

A red flush of arousal colored Leonard’s cheeks.His lips curved into that ridiculous grin only the Vulcan ever saw.“You can be damn romantic when you want to be.”He traced the point of Spock’s ear with his finger.“But we still need to talk.”

“Later.”Spock pressed forward, their lips almost touching.“Please.”

“If we’re going to do this,” Leonard said, voice drawling, “then we need to do this my way.”

“Whatever you require,” Spock promised.He brushed his lips against the doctor’s but the other man moved his head back.

There was a welcoming glint in McCoy’s eyes and the Vulcan knew he had won.He would do what Leonard wanted, he owed the man that much.Pleasurable surrender was a small price to pay for such satisfying company.

“Well then,” Leonard whispered.“Let’s play a game.”  



	6.   A Matter of Trust 6/?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spock learns the hard way that trust is a precious commodity in the Mirrorverse.   

Medicine was not the only field in which Leonard McCoy expressed creativity.Spock often found himself on the receiving end of this more mischievous side of the doctor’s personality during sex.The results were almost always pleasurable.Even when they weren’t, Leonard always made up for it later.So it was with some eagerness that Spock looked forward to this new activity.

“It’s called The Asking Game,” McCoy said.He shifted in the Vulcan’s lap, rubbing against Spock’s growing interest in a rather obscene way.“Want to know how it’s played?” 

Ever the diligent student, Spock replied, “Yes, Leonard.”

Leonard exhaled, his breath tickling against Spock’s dry lips.“Before you do anything just ask.”

Spock let the words sink in.Such a simple game, it almost seemed below Leonard’s usual standards.But then the doctor smirked at him and dreams of fire and ownership made everything else seem unimportant.“May I kiss you?” Spock asked.

“Yes, you may,” the doctor replied before closing the distance.

Their last kiss had been fierce and desperate, full of anger and self-recrimination.This one was sweet and gentle, a prelude to more pleasant activities.Spock’s fingers itched with the need to hold, to touch.

He pulled his mouth away with reluctance.“May I touch you?”

Leonard breathed, eyes at half-mast.“Yes.”

Spock clutched the smaller man, his hands rubbing against the medical blues, wanting them gone, wanting bare skin in its place.He wanted to mark, to claim, to own, to remind Leonard whom he belonged to.As Spock’s fingers roamed over the curve of Leonard’s ass, he realized all he had to do was ask.

Spock’s requests came at a steady pace; so eager was he for Leonard to disrobe.McCoy made his own requests, pulling and tugging at the Vulcan’s clothes at an almost languid pace.The doctor was content to savor while Spock’s patience was wearing thin.

Another question, “Shall we move this to the bed?” and Spock cradled the slighter man, pulling him up into his arms.Their lips moved against each other with pained urgency, Leonard sucking on his tongue.The Vulcan practically threw his doctor onto the bed, pressing down, letting Leonard feel his weight, his strength.

Leonard just grinned and tugged one of Spock’s hands to his mouth.The Vulcan flushed green as wet heat surrounded his fingers.A flash of pain as Leonard lightly bit down only to sooth again with sweet kisses.McCoy’s emotions burned warm under cool skin.Spock wanted to feel them burn hotter.He wanted more and he wanted it now.

“Leonard, I wish to penetrate you.”

“Not yet, Spock.”

The Vulcan blinked.Refusal had not been part of the game.Leonard soothed the frown that crossed Spock’s face with a quick kiss.“Not just yet.I want to get more hot and bothered first.”

Spock flushed green at the thought of Leonard’s breathy moans as he rocked into the smaller man.Of how when properly stimulated, McCoy’s mind blew open, allowing actual thought, not just emotion, to bleed through.Spock nodded; he could deal with the momentary frustration.

Then his doctor asked, Georgia heat dripping from every word, “Can I stroke you?I want to touch us together.”

Spock could not agree fast enough.

Leonard rolled away from him, grabbing the lubricant from his bedside table.He poured a generous amount in his palm and warmed it for a moment.The Vulcan’s cock twitched at the sight.

“Leonard,” Spock growled.

The doctor laughed, nipping at the Vulcan’s earlobe.“Just hold your goddamn horses.”Leonard reached between them and grasped both cocks together in his cool surgeon’s hands.He squeezed.

The Vulcan groaned at the sensation.Hard calluses and soft skin rubbed together in slick harmony.Leonard buried his head in the Vulcan’s neck, hot breath panting against the taunt muscle.“Sometimes in Starfleet, one partner says yes to anything, even if they don’t want it,” he said.The right hand squeezed, moving up and down faster and faster.“It gives the illusion of consent for the dominant partner.”A thumb stroked at his ridges, curling over and under.“An illusion of willingness.”McCoy panted right into his ear.“I don’t want that for us.”

Lust colored Leonard’s gaze, his kisses burned against Spock’s cheek.“I want you to know that every time I say yes, I mean it.”His hand was slick, so slick with soft skin and hard cock rubbing together faster and faster.“I say yes because I want it too.Because I want you.”Leonard’s words were searing, etching into Spock’s mind.“Because I want this.”

“Leonard.”Spock wished to say more, but it was difficult to think, difficult to be more articulate.“Please stop.”

The doctor whined deep in his throat.“If you want,” he panted, releasing his grip.

Spock plundered Leonard’s mouth, hot hands cradling the back of his head.He pulled back, lips moist and deep green.“May I prepare you?”

The blue eyes lit up as Leonard groaned.“Yes.”

Such a simple word should not have had the effect it did but Spock felt a flash of heat at the base of his spine.He pulled his mate up to straddle him, Leonard’s thighs spread out over Spock’s hips.His fingers sought the lubricant, generously coating them before sinking into the body above him.

Leonard stiffened for just a moment before forcing himself to relax.How could human skin feel so cool but the body inside feel so warm?“A little eager, aren’t you?” McCoy drawled.

Spock scissored the two fingers inside of Leonard.“Since the advent of my Time, all I have dreamed of is this,” Spock answered.

Sensitive fingers stretched his doctor open.Leonard’s arms trembled at the invasion, his hips rocking back with greed.“All I have wanted was to claim you, to ejaculate inside you, to mark you as mine.”

The human panted for breath, brown hair damp with sweat clinging to his forehead.His eyes were dilated, black encompassing blue.“T’Pring?” Leonard asked.Just under the surface Spock could feel his doctor’s jealousy.It was small, but it lingered black and hateful.

Spock was brutally honest.“I did not fight the captain for T’Pring.”

The jealousy was gone, replaced with annoyance.“Kirk was just being an ass.”

Spock stopped his fingers.His doctor squirmed and clenched around them, trying to entice him into moving again.Leonard just wanted to get fucked, desire and frustration warring as he clenched his teeth.It took more control than it should have for Spock not to give in.“I do not wish to discuss the captain in our bed.”

“Fair enough,” Leonard snarled.He reached for Spock’s neck and smashed their lips together.Sharp teeth bit into the Vulcan’s lower lip.“Fuck me now.”The time for discussion was over.

The Vulcan removed his fingers and grasped the smaller man.He guided his doctor slowly, oh so slowly onto his straining cock.Smooth wet velvet enclosed him, stealing his reason.Leonard was tight and warm and everything he had ever wanted.All he had to do was take it.

“Do you know why I let you do this to me?Why I—“ Leonard groaned as Spock hit just the right spot.He tightened involuntarily, the sensation causing Spock’s breath to quicken.Straining thighs spread just a little wider to bring them that much closer together.Leonard’s head tipped forward, he was grinning like a loon.“You do me so right, darlin’.”

The purred declaration went right to Spock’s hips.Despite his vaunted Vulcan stamina, he did not last long.For four days he had wanted this tightness, this easy surrender.His doctor was too welcoming; too willing to accept his quick needy thrusts.Leonard took everything he had to give and he gave it back tenfold.

He was getting close; Spock could feel Leonard’s want mirrored back at him.McCoy bit his lower lip to stop his pleased whimpers.The human’s mind was opening, shields dropping oh so slowly.

_Mine.Mine.Only mine._

_Yours.Yours.Don’t ever pull this shit again, you green blooded--_

“It’s all right, darlin’,” McCoy whispered, thoughts scattering to the four winds.“You can come.”

Spock’s eyes clenched shut, his fingers tightening on wanton hips as he let go.This was his, only his and would only ever be his.Others might covet this moment, this closeness, but they would never have it.He would do anything to make sure of that.

Leonard cried out in pleasure, bucking back to meet Spock’s final thrusts.Warmth splashed between them as he came.He squeezed his ass tight, trying to get the last bit of feeling out of Spock’s softening cock.

The Vulcan lay on the bed, his hand caressing his doctor’s back.He felt content for the first time since his _pon farr_ had started.He had not lost Leonard, the man was still here, was still with him.

McCoy raised his head, his grin sloppy from the post-coital high.“You can use the shower first if you want.I know you need to sneak out before anyone sees you.”

“I have time,” Spock announced.He wanted to feel Leonard’s body resting against his, if only for a while.“I will wake you in five point two five hours so that we may shower.”

Leonard glared with one bleary eye.“We, Mr. Spock?That stall can barely hold one grown man, let alone two.What do you propose to do about the space limitation?”

“I propose,” Spock started, rubbing his hand lower and lower down the doctor’s back to his cleft.“That I shall hold you up against the wall while we copulate.”He pressed one finger into the still slick hole.

Leonard hissed and swatted at Spock’s errant hand.“Christ, I won’t be able to sit for a week.”

The finger curled, pressing inward.“That is the idea.”

McCoy panted and clutched at the sheets.“Not yet, it’s too much.”

Spock withdrew, resting his hand on the curve of the doctor’s ass.

Leonard glared at the Vulcan as he reached for the medical tricorder.He took some readings and stated, “Congratulations, you’re not a _pon farring_ horny, possessive Vulcan, just a normal horny, possessive Vulcan.”  

“Sleep Leonard,” Spock ordered, pressing a kiss to his doctor’s temple.“You will need it.”

McCoy just rolled his eyes as he set the tricorder aside.Within moments, his breathing steadied out into the rumbles of deep slumber.

Spock desired more moments such as these: moments of calm, of peace, without the pressures of command or the fear of discovery.Someday he and Leonard could risk being open about their relationship without reprisal.As Spock closed his eyes, he mused that all he really needed was a plan.

******

 

Spock would not see Leonard the next evening.Although Spock’s shift was over, Leonard was still in sickbay.Earlier on the bridge, Sulu had pushed Lt. Uhura too far and the helmsman had found himself becoming better acquainted with the lovely communications officer’s knife.

Now Dr. McCoy would have to spend the rest of the night putting Sulu’s face back together.There were times when Spock wondered if the _Enterprise_ was crewed by children.

As his plans had now fallen by the wayside, Spock felt it would be a good night to meditate.Perhaps as he let his mind wander, he would formulate a strategy for his future with Leonard.

He stepped into his chambers and was interrupted by a hail.“Commander Spock, a communication for you from Vulcan.She says it is urgent,” Lt. Uhura announced.

The First Officer frowned.“Patch it through to my room on a confidential channel,” he ordered.

“Aye, Sir.”

Spock moved to his desk, settling himself into his chair.There were few people who would contact him from Vulcan, fewer who were female and still fewer who would say it was urgent.Curious, he typed in the command to allow visual contact.

Spock sucked in a shocked breath before he could stop himself.“Greetings, Lady T’Pau.”

The Vulcan matriarch glared at him with dark eyes.Even on a small screen, the woman was imposing.“I wish to congratulate thee on thy captain’s miraculous recovery.”

Of course she knew.Spock had been so relieved to be free from _pon farr_ that he had not considered what would happen if T’Pau found out Kirk was still alive.His thoughts were racing but his countenance betrayed nothing.“Thank you, matriarch.We were pleased that his injuries were not permanent.”

T’Pau’s face twitched but Spock could not determine if it was in a smile or a grimace.“Spock, in light of recent events the Council has decided not to arrange another bride for thee.”

His hand clenched into a fist.He knew his reaction was illogical.He had already planned to mate with Leonard despite what the Council might say.But for them to refuse to even give him the option of rejecting a potential bride was a grave insult.“Matriarch?”

The elder Vulcan ignored his distress.“Thee are too deeply invested to make a forced union viable.”

His throat closed, his breath shortened.Why, what had he done wrong?“I—“

T’Pau abruptly changed the subject.“Dr. McCoy is very clever,” she said.“Few humans can fool a Vulcan, let alone many.Perhaps it is because he has spent so much time with thee.”

She knew about Leonard.She knew that they were together.Spock’s blood ran cold.If the Council knew about McCoy then they were in their rights to refuse him a bride.Unfortunately, Spock doubted they would approve of a formal bond with the doctor.There had been enough scandal when his father bonded with a human.For Spock to demand recognition of a bond with a human male would be impossible.

T’Pau continued speaking as if they were having a perfectly normal conversation.“He must be highly intelligent.Your McCoy pioneered many medical advances including the neural grafting technique.”

He could not take it any longer.Spock slammed his hands on the desk.“Why are we discussing Dr. McCoy?”

Silence.T’Pau’s voice could freeze the desert.“Thee has behaved as a perfect Vulcan thus far.Do not disappoint me.”

Spock lowered his eyes in respectful submission.“I apologize, Lady T’Pau.” 

T’Pau bowed her head.“I accept, Spock.”Just like that, the outburst was forgotten.“Does thee know the duties of a matriarch?”

It was a very odd question, Spock wondered if this was some sort of trap.“It is the duty of the matriarch to preserve the traditions of Vulcan,” he replied, remembering the words he memorized in school.

“Incorrect,” T’Pau said.“The duty of a matriarch is to preserve Vulcan itself.”

Spock was curious; he had never heard this before.

“To this end, producing children is key.By keeping to the traditional ways, we have kept our numbers steady,” T’Pau explained.“The purpose of the _pon farr_ is to create a mating bond with which to produce children.This is why we have always arranged marriages despite the _preferences_ some individuals have.”  

Spock remained silent through this eccentric lecture.T’Pau had to be plotting something; there was no other reason for her to contact him.But he would not risk her wrath to interrupt again.

“When thy father wished to marry the human Amanda, he had already produced a child from a previous marriage.”

He vaguely remembered his half-brother Sybok.The older Vulcan had felt strange and different from any of his peers.Spock had not been surprised when Sybok fled the planet in disgrace.

“Because he had fulfilled his obligation, he was given more freedom regarding his second marriage,” T’Pau explained.

Suddenly, Spock understood.“If my father had not had Sybok you would not have allowed the union between himself and my mother.”

T’Pau shook her head.“Tradition would not have allowed it.”

Spock noted the matriarch’s choice of words.Fascinating.“You would have allowed the bonding even without tradition?Please clarify.”

The elder Vulcan sighed.“I have lived through much, Spock.I have seen much and done much.I understand that tradition is only one way of ensuring continuity.Another is innovation.”

Spock felt uneasy.“Innovation, Lady T’Pau?”

The woman’s dark eyes were serious.“Experimentation.”

He reeled at the revelation.Spock had known that his parents had had to use extreme measures to have him.He had spent a great deal of his childhood being poked, prodded and examined by doctors.They had told him it was to make sure that he was healthy but was that the only reason?Did his parents have him under orders from T’Pau?

“Do not misunderstand,” T’Pau said.“Thy parents had already wanted a child together.I used this desire to ensure the Council’s cooperation.If the experiment had failed, then we could claim Sybok as the fulfillment of Sarek’s obligation and we would have considered the possibility of interspecies reproduction closed.”

“But I was born,” Spock said.

“Correct.Unfortunately, thee are only a partial success.”Spock’s mouth twisted in displeasure as T’Pau continued.“Not in thy behavior.In this respect thee are a perfect Vulcan, as thee demonstrated at the Koon-ut-kal-if-fee.Thee respected the challenge and went through with it, though thee burned for another.Thee gave T’Pring her dignity in death and thee acted as a Vulcan should.Thee have made thy clan proud.”T’Pau’s head was high; her words were the truth.But then she sobered.“However, thee are sterile.”

“So your attempts at innovation failed?” Spock asked.He felt a strange mixture of pride and bitterness.He was only a pawn in a much larger game, one over which he had no control.But his matriarch had acknowledged him as a true Vulcan.Though he would never admit this aloud, having her approval was the greatest honor he could receive.This situation was most confusing. 

T’Pau was, as typical, cryptic.“Perhaps but perhaps not.”Her lip curved into a smile.“Like thy father, thy tastes run to human flesh.But also like thy father, thee have excellent judgment.Thy mother is a great asset to the house of Surek.Her knowledge of diplomacy has served our interests well.Thy father showed wisdom in his choice.”

He had never heard the matriarch praise his family in his hearing.Spock had always believed that T’Pau merely tolerated Sarek’s branch.There was much he did not know about this woman.

Then T’Pau dropped a bomb.“Thee also show wisdom, Spock.I am certain that a surgeon will be invaluable.”

Spock was shocked.“You will allow me to bond with Dr. McCoy?”

“Yes.”

Spock could not believe the enormity of what T’Pau was offering.There had to be an ulterior motive.“Why?” he asked.

T’Pau chuckled.It was a startling sound.“Thee know why.”

They had been discussing procreation for almost half an hour.Yes, he did know.“You believe Dr. McCoy can cure my sterility?”

“Perhaps,” T’Pau said.“He may also discover a way for thee to have a child with him.”

He frowned; either task was difficult if not impossible.He still had yet to convince Leonard to meld with him, let alone bond.Then after bonding he would have to force the doctor into conducting genetic experiments?Experiments solely designed to serve the interests of Vulcan?He was getting far too ahead of himself.“You are asking much,” Spock said.

“I am asking for thee to fulfill thy obligations to the Vulcan race.I am asking thee to help shape the future of all of Vulcan,” she said, voice sharp.“We will not always have the luxury of having enough pure-blooded Vulcan men and women.War, famine, disease, conquest, we have known all these through our history.To ignore the possibility that they may happen again is folly.Now, will thee help me or will I let the Council’s decision stand?”

Silence reigned for several precious moments as Spock considered.On one hand, he was being given permission to do as he wished. On the other, it came with some strange conditions.“I may have difficulty forming a mental bond with the doctor,” Spock said.

“I am aware of McCoy’s previous encounters with telepaths.”T’Pau had an extensive spy network.She had probably done thorough research into his background the moment they stepped off the planet.“If thee choose, the healers of the House of Surak are at thy disposal.”

Spock bowed his head.The Lady T’Pau was making refusal not only difficult but also foolish.“I thank you.”

“Then may we expect a new addition to the House of Surak?” T’Pau asked. 

The question was almost brazen.“If he consents,” Spock replied.

Only the slight curve of her lip betrayed T’Pau’s pleasure.“Then our business is nearly concluded.”

“Thank you, my Lady.”Spock was exhausted, both physically and mentally.He needed to meditate but politeness dictated that he wait for the matriarch to dismiss him.

“Now to the second bit of business,” T’Pau said.“Captain Kirk has placed a request for additional security personnel.” 

The Vulcan frowned.He had not seen any requisition forms for such a thing.“We have no vacancies in that department.”

“They are for his personal use,” T’Pau announced.

This startled Spock.Why would Kirk need bodyguards?“Captain Kirk has complete power over the ship.He has disposed most if not all of his enemies.What reason could he have for bringing on additional personnel?” he asked aloud.

T’Pau’s reply said it all.“It is not everyday that the captain comes back from the dead.” 

Because of his uncontrolled rage during his _pon farr_ , Spock had made himself an enemy.Kirk had held no fear for Spock due to the Vulcan’s loyalty and his lack of ambition.But now Kirk knew that given the proper motivation, Spock not only would kill him but also could.

Spock and T’Pau exchanged a few pleasantries before saying their goodbyes.The matriarch promised Spock his own bodyguards, handpicked from Vulcan before the week was out.

As the scent of incense filled his nose and his consciousness began to drift, Spock knew that his discussion with Leonard needed to happen sooner rather than later. 

However, like all good intentions, his plan fell by the wayside in the face of reality.There were missions, discipline issues and the routine problems of running a starship.Whenever Spock found time alone with Leonard, he spent it reasserting his physical claim rather than taking about the things they still left unsaid. 

By the time Spock had found the necessary courage, the worst possible thing happened.The _ISS Enterprise_ was sent to Halkan.  



	7.   A Matter of Trust 7/?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spock learns the hard way that trust is a precious commodity in the Mirrorverse. 

It was at times like these, surrounded by some of the most dangerous officers in Starfleet, that Spock felt privileged.They were in the Ready Room being briefed on the planet Halkan.Kirk was at the head of the table, relaying the information given to them by the Empire.Spock sat at the Captain’s right hand, the only nonhuman in the room.

He could see how the other senior officers watched him and the captain, some with respect, some with fear and others with envy.The only one who watched with disinterest was Leonard, an attitude carefully cultivated from many months of keeping their relationship secret.As a doctor, he had a limited interest in the ship’s politics.He was more concerned about his own little empire than the squabbles among the other departments.

Montgomery Scott, on the other hand, was a dangerous man and not to be underestimated.The only reason many did not consider him a threat was his love for engines and machinery.If the man ever developed any real ambition, he would have to be eliminated.

Hikaru Sulu, face marred by a new ugly scar running down his face, was the only officer who risked appearing openly hostile.As head of the Security forces, he had little to fear from below.Spock did not trust the man.

Then there was Lt. Uhura.She was the least vocal about her alliances outside of boasting of her sexual exploits.Because of her training in communications, she always seemed to be watching and calculating.The Vulcan respected her for this, and firmly believed that she knew much more about the goings of the ship than anyone suspected.

Finally, there was Captain Kirk himself.He was king of the castle, lord of his domain.He handled himself with a knowing smirk and a brash attitude.Spock had known him for some time and had always held the man in esteem.But Kirk’s actions since Vulcan had made Spock question his loyalties.

“The Halkans have huge deposits of dilithium crystals just underneath the surface of the planet just ripe for the taking,” Kirk explained.“Unfortunately, they have decided not to give the Empire access to their dilithium.It is the _Enterprise’s_ task to convince them otherwise.”Spock understood.The dilithium was too valuable to let the Halkans sit on it.He expected Kirk to bring his usual security men, including his bodyguards, possibly Sulu and, of course, himself.  


“For the sake of diplomacy, we will keep the landing party small.Commander Scott, Lt. Uhura and Dr. McCoy will accompany me to the planet’s surface.”Several eyebrows at the table shot straight up in astonishment.Kirk leaned back in his chair, all teeth.“We will all meet in the transporter room at 1100 hours.Dismissed.”

The officers saluted and filtered out the door.Spock watched them all leave, including the captain before taking his own leave.He was troubled by Kirk’s decision to leave him behind.Spock had always been present before on diplomatic missions.In fact, Kirk had told him that the Vulcan was the reason for much of his success on nonviolent missions.

To be excluded disturbed Spock.He needed to process this.His usual confidant would be down on the planet in less than two hours and he did not want to wait until Leonard returned.

Spock found Dr. McCoy in sickbay surrounded by his staff and giving them a last minute briefing.The older man was in his element, his Southern drawl full of authority.The Vulcan watched, waiting for an opportunity to interrupt.

“I’ve gone on away missions before and most of you know the drill.Obey M’Benga’s orders or get thrown in the Agony Booth.However, today we’re entertaining a special guest.” 

Dr. McCoy led the group of orderlies and nurses to one of the biobeds.Lying on the bed was one Lt. Commander Jefferies.Spock was familiar with this individual, as he had brought the man down to sickbay himself.

Jefferies was a sorry looking soul, beaten and bloody with one eye nearly swollen shut.McCoy placed a hand on the bed, right next to the man’s head.“This is Lt. Commander Jefferies and he tried to poison the captain late last night.He’s here because we know he’s working for someone else and he won’t tell us who it is.”

Jefferies bit his lower lip and spat out, “Choke on your own shit.”

Leonard backhanded the man without a second thought.The sound of the slap echoed in the silent sickbay.“I want that information, preferably before I get back.”He looked at Nurse Chapel and said, oozing charm, “Would you mind supervising the interrogation and monitoring his condition, Nurse?”

Nurse Chapel grinned.“I’d be delighted, Doctor.”

Judging by the sneer on Jefferies’ face, he had no idea what she could do.Spock was confident that Nurse Chapel was more than up for the challenge.She was Leonard’s favorite subordinate for a reason.

Spock cleared his throat.“Dr. McCoy, I require a word with you regarding the mission.”

Leonard sighed.“All right, make it quick.”He dismissed his staff with a cursory nod.Everyone went to his or her posts without argument.The First Officer was impressed at the discipline of Leonard’s people.The doctor moved to Spock’s side and led the Vulcan to his office.“I’ve got to get to that molecule scrambler in a little over an hour and I’ve still got to pack.”

Leonard shut the door and leaned against his desk.He crossed his arms before his chest, hip cocked to the side.“What do you need, Spock?”

That was a loaded question.Although he came to discuss the Halkan mission, Spock could not resist teasing his mate.“I have been experiencing an increase in work-related stress.” 

McCoy raised an eyebrow.“Oh?For how long?”

“Approximately one week.”It had been eight days since they had last been intimate.

Leonard smirked.“So you decided to see your doctor.Do you require a personal consultation?”

“I do.”

McCoy pushed himself away from the desk, a light bounce in his step as he approached Spock.“Well, they say that certain types of stimulation can help with stress.”His fingers curled around the Vulcan’s hand.Leonard carefully pulled the long, green digits apart and took them to his lips. “Will oral stimulation suffice?”Pink lips closed hot and tight around the elegant pointer finger.

Spock’s breath hitched in his throat.Leonard knew his body all too well.The doctor grinned.“Or do you require something more intense?”

Spock answered without hesitation.“I may require extensive therapy.”

“Come to my room tonight.”Leonard nipped at the fingertip before releasing the hand.“I’ll write you a prescription.”

Spock nodded.“That would be most appreciated, Doctor.”

Leonard gave the Vulcan a coy smile before straightening himself out.In a matter of seconds the man went from being Spock’s mate to being Dr. McCoy, colleague.“I know you didn’t come down here to flirt.What the hell are you really here for?” 

Spock felt it was best to be direct.“The captain has made some unusual selections for the landing party.”

“You thought so too?”Leonard shook his head.“I don’t know what he’s thinking.”

“Perhaps he wants to appear harmless before the Halkans.Impress them with words rather than strength,” Spock said.

Leonard nodded.“That would make sense since they’re pacifists.Most people would see Uhura and dismiss her because she’s a woman.”The doctor scoffed.He had seen the results of Uhura’s blade too many times to believe she was harmless.“Really, bringing your Chief Engineer, CMO, and Communications Officer sends a different message than a bunch of security goons and a Vulcan.”

“Indeed.”

McCoy crossed his arms.“But you’re still wondering why you’re not coming along.”

The Vulcan decided to admit his fears.“I find that my lack of presence in the landing party may send the wrong message to the crew.”

Leonard could not conceal his frown.

Spock raised an eyebrow.“The possibility has crossed your mind as well.”

“Yes, it has.”McCoy rubbed his eyes.“There could be an innocent explanation for it.You’ve been on a lot of away missions lately, he could be giving you a break.”Leonard did not believe it.“Or the Halkans could be more xenophobic than we thought.”

“Or the captain may no longer trust me.”

Leonard stiffened at the words.It was obvious that he had come to the same conclusion.“Just keep your eyes open for assassination attempts.”He cupped the side of Spock’s face, thumb stroking the Vulcan’s cheek.“If the crew feels like there’s going to be a shift in power, they will start picking sides.”

“Whose side will you be on, Leonard?”

McCoy looked scandalized, as if Spock even had to ask.He shook his head and kissed the side of his lover’s mouth.“Stupid hobgoblin.”He pulled back, a wry smile on his face.“Get out of here, I’ve got work to do.” 

*****

The bridge was quiet.Sulu and Chekov sat at their posts, executing their duties with utmost efficiency.Engineering performed at top level and there were no reports of violence anywhere on the ship.It appeared that Leonard’s concerns about assassination were unfounded for the moment.At the very least, no one was going to make a move while the captain was off the ship.

Spock had not heard from the landing party for several hours.In the meantime, an ion storm had moved into the planet’s orbit. Several crewmembers had already been injured onboard when the storm touched the ship’s shields.No one was certain how it would effect the mission, but the sooner the landing party was off the planet, the better. 

Spock sat in the captain’s chair, waiting for them to report in. 

“Kirk to _Enterprise_.”

Spock pressed the communication button.“ _Enterprise_ , Spock here.”

“Report on magnetic storm,” the captain commanded.

“Standard ion type, Captain, but quite violent—“

The _Enterprise_ rocked with the impact of an ion blast.The irony was not lost on the Vulcan.”And unpredictable.”

“How will it effect the transporters?”He could hear the frown in Kirk’s voice.

Spock had been awaiting predictions from the Science Department, but none had been made thus far.He answered honestly.“Unknown.”

“Stand by to beam up landing party,” Kirk said.“Plot an extended orbit to clear disturbance.Kirk Out.” 

“Comply, Mr. Sulu,” Spock ordered. 

He watched the helmsman punch in the commands.Once satisfied that all was in order he said, “Mr. Sulu take the comm.”

“Aye, sir.”

Spock vacated the bridge.As he headed to the transporter room, he wondered how the Halkan mission had gone.Kirk had given no indication whether or not his efforts had succeeded.Well, he would know within a few moments.

The transporter room door slid shut behind him, leaving him with Lt. Kyle and several security guards.Kyle was one of Scott’s men, a true engineer whose loyalties lay with the ship rather than any one man.Spock wished there were more crewmembers like him.

The sound of the transporter beams rang in his ears as he approached the control panel.Kyle looked up at him, a puzzled frown on his face.“Trouble, sir.” 

“There will be interference from the storm.You must compensate for it!”Spock’s gaze focused on the transporter pad.The four familiar silhouettes formed, dissolved, formed and dissolved again.It was as if the transporter beam could not hold their molecules in place.Kyle scrambled at the controls, trying to get a lock on his superior officers.

The trickle of sweat that ran down his brow was all Spock needed to see to know that Kyle was not doing it on purpose.This was not an assassination attempt, but an honest mistake.

As the seconds passed, Spock felt his anxiety grow.What was wrong with the transporter?Would it bring everyone back or just a few?Would they be whole or only half-formed?Leonard had always hated the transporter and the way it tore bodies apart and put them back together.Spock would be damned if that was how his mate was going to die.

If Kyle did not bring Leonard back then, mistake or not, he’d snap the technician’s neck. 

Spock’s hand twitched at his side.It would not take much.He could do it with one hand.The guards would do nothing.As he finalized his visualization of exactly how the technician’s body would crumple to the ground, neck twisted at an unnatural angle when the landing party solidified on the transporter platform.

Spock kept his face impassive.Kyle would live another day.Good.The Vulcan did not want to have to replace him.

Kirk’s voice was playful as he stepped off the pad, Leonard close behind.“Spock was right.It was a rough trip.”

They took a few steps before pausing, as if something wasn’t right.Kirk watched the room’s occupants with wary eyes.Spock was not surprised; the transporter had malfunctioned after all.It was entirely possible that the captain believed there had just been an attempt on his life.

Spock and Kyle saluted their superior officer and the guards followed suit.It was not typical to salute a captain upon return from an away mission but the Vulcan decided that Kirk needed the reassurance of his command.

The captain responded by glancing down at himself as if checking to make sure he was all there.Leonard, Scott and Uhura appraised each other and the occupants in the room.Although a certain degree paranoia was to be expected among ISS officers, this behavior was very puzzling.It was possible that they also believed an attempt had been made on the captain and they had been caught in it.

Spock would need to discuss this as soon as possible with Leonard.But for now, he had a duty to perform.

“At norm, Mr. Kyle,” Spock ordered.“Controls at neutral.”

The transporter tech complied.“Yes, sir." 

Spock strode forward, ever the efficient First Officer.“Status of mission, Captain?” 

Kirk flinched, as if uncertain what to say.In the background he could see Uhura making her way to Scott, as if she had a question.The Engineer silenced her before she could speak.Leonard watched everyone with more wariness than he had displayed in months.What had happened on Halkan? 

“No change,” Kirk said.

“Standard procedure, Captain?”Spock noticed Kirk’s gaze shift down to his weapons.The captain nodded.The Vulcan went to the transporter controls.“Mr. Sulu, you will program phaser barrage on Halkan cities.”

Sulu answered, “Yes, Mr. Spock.”

“Their military capability, Captain?” 

Kirk shook his head.“None.” 

That was a surprise.The Enterprise had encountered other supposed pacifist societies before, but they had all had militaries.“Regrettable that this society has chosen suicide.”He turned his attention to the transporter technician.Discipline was all-important on a starship and despite his efforts Kyle had made grave errors with the equipment.“Mr. Kyle, you were instructed to compensate during the ion storm.”

The blond man shook his head.“But I tried, Mr. Spock.I tried.”

Spock’s eyes narrowed.“Carelessness with the equipment cannot be tolerated.”

Kyle continued to protest.“But Mr. Spock—“

“Your agonizer,” he ordered.It was better for Kyle to be punished now than let Kirk get a hold of him later.

The technician backed away from him.“No, Mr. Spock.” 

The First Officer was firm.“Your agonizer, please.”

“No, Mr. Spock!I tried.I really tried!”A security guard grabbed the technician, pinning him in place.He used his other hand to take Kyle’s agonizer and give it to the First Officer.

Spock rarely took joy in punishment.When it was well deserved, he felt elation as the wills of the undisciplined crumbled but when it was not, he simply felt hollow.He would not enjoy hurting Kyle, but he could take comfort in the knowledge that he was saving the man’s life.

He pressed the device into Kyle’s chest.The other man choked out terrified sobs as his nerves caught on fire.He couldn’t even thrash as the agonizer’s pulses ripped through his body.Spock had felt the sting of the agonizer before, everyone in Starfleet had, but one could never get used to it.No matter how many times one was punished, the fire still burned.

Spock removed the device, watching as Kyle slumped to the ground.He lowered the agonizer, letting it slip out of his hands.He noticed the landing party watching him with odd expressions.Hopefully, this public demonstration would pacify the captain and the man would pursue no more action against Kyle. 

Spock made his way over to the transporter pad.“Mr. Scott, the storm has caused some minor damage in your section.”He turned his attention to Leonard whose face was kept a careful blank.“There are also injuries requiring your attention, Doctor.”They made no motion to leave.“Well, gentlemen?”

“Mr. Spock?” 

He turned.Kyle was back at the controls, standing despite the pain.

“Yes?” Spock responded.

“The power beam jumped for a moment, sir, as the landing party was about to materialize.”Kyle shook his head.“I never saw it happen before.”

Spock frowned.“Due to your error, Mr. Kyle?”He felt that he was “laying it on thick” as McCoy would say, but appearances had to be maintained.

“No, Mr. Spock,” Kyle responded, all too sincere.“Before.”  


To punish Kyle again for this outburst would be counterproductive.Spock offered the technician a reprieve.“Possibly a result of the severe storm,” he said.He turned his attention to Kirk.“Captain, do you feel any abnormal effects?” 

Kirk blinked.“Yes.”He sounded like he had been offered an excuse.The captain whipped his head around.“Dr. McCoy, you’d better look us over.That was a rough beam-up.”  


Leonard nodded in acquiescence.“Yes, sir.”  


The landing party went to the door.As it opened, Kirk looked back as an afterthought.“Mr. Spock, have those transporter circuits checked.”  


Spock nodded and the group disappeared down the corridor.  


After a moment, Kyle dared to whisper, “Were they acting strange to you, Mr. Spock?”  


The Vulcan raised an eyebrow.“You also noticed?”  


Kyle nodded.

“Speak of this to no one,” Spock ordered.“Take the rest of your shift off and confine yourself to quarters.”

“Yes, sir.”The transporter technician was visibly relieved.He needed to recuperate from the agonzier and, more importantly, if he stayed out of sight he would stay alive.

*****

Spock created a task force to discover if there had been any human tampering with the transporters.He placed Lt. Moreau at the head, assuming that Kirk would trust her enough to yield to her findings.The sooner the captain could be placated about the ion storm, the faster Spock could work himself back into Kirk’s good graces.

He took the liberty of retreating to his own quarters for a brief rest.An hour later, Spock was gratified to see a report from sickbay declaring the members of the landing party in good health.It was one less complication in his plans.Since he now had a report, it was safe to assume that the captain would be back on the bridge. 

As soon as the turbolift doors opened, Spock noticed something was wrong.Planet Halkan did not appear as it should on the viewscreen.He made his way to the helm.The readings were off.He raised his head and addressed Kirk.“Planet’s rotation is carrying primary target beyond arc of phaser lock.”

“Shall I correct orbit to new firing position?” Sulu asked.

Kirk shook his head, voice low.“No.”

Spock raised an eyebrow.What was Kirk doing?They had orders.Spock did not want to engage in what Leonard would refer to as a “pissing contest” but he was not going to risk the _Enterprise_ falling out of the Empire’s favor.“Lock onto secondary city,” he ordered Sulu.  

“Aye, sir,” the helmsman answered.

Kirk leaned back in his chair.“Lt. Uhura, contact the Halkan council.I wish to talk to them again.” 

She nodded.“Yes, sir.”

This action puzzled the Vulcan.“Captain?”

“This is a new race,” Kirk explained.“They offer other things of value besides dilithium crystals.”

Although Spock agreed with this, this was an unusual attitude for Kirk.“But we cannot expect their cooperation.They have refused the Empire.Command procedure dictates that we provide the customary example.”

“Secondary target now moving beyond our phaser lock,” Sulu said.

Kirk was firm.“Put phasers on standby, Mr. Sulu.”

Spock had to salvage the situation.“A serious breach of orders, Captain.”

“I have my reasons,” Kirk said.“And I’ll make them clear to you in my own good time.” 

Spock bristled at the captain’s tone.Before he could reply, Lt. Uhura interrupted them.“Captain, I have the leader of the Halkan Council waiting on channel B.”

Kirk punched the communication button on his chair.The Halkan leader, tired and old, stared out at them from the viewscreen.

“It is useless to resist us,” Kirk said.

The Council Leader shook his head.His voice held a sad weariness.He knew the fate that awaited them.“We do not resist you.”

“You have twelve hours to consider your position,” Kirk replied. 

Spock blinked in shock.Twelve hours?This was unheard of.

“Twelve years, Captain Kirk, or twelve thousand.”The man’s conviction practically shook the screen.“We are ethically compelled to deny your demand for our dilithium crystals for you would use their power to destroy,” Council Leader  


“We will level your planet and take what we want,” Kirk told him.“That is destruction.You will die as a race.”The captain almost seemed to be reasoning with the man.  


“To preserve what we are,” the Councilman insisted.  


“We will not argue,” Kirk said.“Twelve hours.No more.Close communications,” he ordered Uhura.“Turn phasers off.”  


Sulu acknowledged the order.“Aye, sir.”  


“Twelve hours, Captain?” Spock asked, curious as to his captain’s motives.“That is unprecedented.”  


Kirk glared at him with a raised eyebrow, as if challenging Spock to say anything more.The Vulcan remained silent.Satisfied, Kirk spun in his chair.“I shall be in my quarters.”He stood up and approached the communications console.“Lt. Uhura, have Dr. McCoy and Mr. Scott meet me there.” 

Uhura opened her mouth to argue but Kirk shook his head.This was twice now that the woman had been silenced before she could voice a question, first Scott and now the captain.What did Uhura have to say that was so damaging that she wasn’t even allowed to speak?Did she know of some secret plan of the captain’s?Did she disagree with it?Kyle had already noticed the landing party’s strange behavior, how many others had noticed it as well?  


Spock needed Kirk to know that he was being watched, not just by himself, but by the whole crew.“Captain, you’ve placed yourself in a most grave position.This conduct must be reported.”Perhaps the implied threat would be enough to get the captain back operating on Imperial protocol.  


Silence.“You’re at liberty to do so, Mr. Spock.”Then Kirk left and entered the turbolift,  


This was not an answer Spock had anticipated.Something was very, very wrong.Spock was disturbed, not just by the captain’s unusual hesitance in dealing with the Halkans, but his insistence on having Leonard in his presence.Yes, Kirk was requesting the other members of the landing party, but Spock’s fears regarding the captain’s intentions toward his mate hampered his logic.  


Spock needed more data before he could come to a definite conclusion, but one thing was clear: if Leonard was right and there was a power shift happening on the _Enterprise,_ then the doctor was trapped right in the middle of it.


	8.   A Matter of Trust 8/?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spock learns the hard way that trust is a precious commodity in the Mirrorverse. 

Moments after the attack, Spock’s spies sent him reports of Chekov’s attempt on Kirk’s life. Apparently, the ensign had tried to jump the captain but was foiled when one of his agents betrayed him.Captain Kirk had sustained only minor injuries and the navigator had been sent to the Agony Booth.Kirk had then gone to his rooms, bypassing sickbay.It would have been strange if the captain had not ordered Dr. McCoy to his quarters earlier that day.  


Spock held back a snarl at the thought.Only the fact that Montgomery Scott would also be present kept the Vulcan from storming down to Kirk’s room.He sometimes wondered if he was too overzealous in protecting his mate.But then memories of Vulcan and the captain’s leering face as he touched Leonard would banish all of Spock’s doubts. 

He typed new orders to his spies on his console: the captain was to be watched at all times for any suspicious movement, he was to be notified the moment that Dr. McCoy left Kirk’s quarters, and his bodyguard Seren was to meet him in half an hour.Seren was one of the five Vulcans handpicked by T’Pau to guard his person while he served on the _Enterprise_.  


Although Seren’s usual duty was to trail Dr. McCoy, Spock decided that he had enough spies observing Kirk’s quarters.They would be more than up to the task of protecting Leonard should the need arise.  


At the designated time, Spock gave temporary command to Sulu and exited the bridge.He met Seren just outside the turbolift.Without a word, Spock headed down the hallway toward the Agony Booth.

Ever obedient, Seren followed.The Vulcan had been one of the clan members present at Spock’s disastrous wedding to T’Pring.A younger member of the clan, Seren greatly admired Spock’s wisdom and his adherence to tradition.In fact, Seren believed, “That you turned public humiliation into a moment of personal triumph.Few could boast such an accomplishment.”  


It was for this reason that Seren was so eager to please.

As the two Vulcans neared the junction in the hall, Spock noticed the captain.The man must have just left his quarters.“Captain,” he called out to get Kirk’s attention.He continued to speak as they fell into step.“I am pleased that you frustrated Mr. Chekov’s plan.I should regret your death.”  


Kirk looked away.He seemed subdued by the admission. “Why?”  


What a strange question.Spock had always assumed that Kirk knew about his lack of personal ambition.Perhaps he needed to clarify.“I do not desire the captaincy.I much prefer my scientific duties.I am frankly content to be a lesser target.” 

Kirk’s lips quirked up, voice sardonic.“Logical as always, Mr. Spock.” 

The sound of Chekov’s screams echoed down the hall.They stopped to watch the ensign’s punishment.The young man jerked and twitched in pain.If the agonizer was fire in the veins, then the Booth was scalding lava.“The Agony Booth is a most effective means of discipline.”  


Kirk walked toward the Booth, presumably to get a closer look.The captain had always enjoyed watching his subordinate’s writhe.Chekov continued to shriek in pain.The Agony Booth was in prime condition today.“I presume you’ve ordered full duration,” Spock said.  


“I haven’t decided.”The captain sounded almost displeased.Kirk rejoined his First Officer.  


Spock nodded in agreement.“Indeed.His act warrants death.”  


Kirk snapped.“I said I haven’t decided.”  


Spock just stared at his superior officer.Perhaps the man was trying to assert his dominance.The Vulcan looked away with a shrug.“That is, of course, your affair.”  


Kirk walked away, his eyes lingering on Chekov for a moment.Spock followed, the situation with the resisting Halkans still needed to be resolved.“Captain, may I inquire if you intend to persist in your unusual course of action regarding the Halkans?”  


Kirk mumbled, not interested in the challenge.“You heard my orders.”  


Spock was not going to let this go.“They are, of course, in contradiction to standard Empire procedure.You cannot ignore the consequences.”  


The captain paused.He turned to look at Spock.“Is that a threat?”  


Spock shook his head, well aware that one of Kirk’s men had joined them.“I do not threaten, Captain.I merely state facts,” he said.“I have found you to be an excellent officer.Our missions together have been both successful and profitable.”  


He could see the disbelief, if ever so slight, on Kirk’s face.Spock was only telling the truth.When Kirk applied himself he was one of the finest men in the fleet.They had accomplished more together than either officer could have alone.But Kirk’s behavior on this mission was troubling.The man needed to be aware of this.  


“However,” Spock continued, “I shall not permit your aberrations to jeopardize my position."

Kirk touched his jaw; it was a nervous gesture.“Spock, do you think we should destroy the Halkans?”  


Spock answered without hesitation.“Terror must be maintained or the Empire is doomed.It is the logic of history.”  


“Conquest is easy, control is not.We may have bitten off more than we can chew.”Kirk seemed to mull this concept over.  


Spock had no time for Kirk’s internal conflicts, nor his musings.“Captain, I do not wish to find myself opposing you, but if you continue on your present course, this confusing, inexplicable behavior—“  


Kirk cut him off.“Is my concern, not yours.You would find me a formidable enemy.” 

Spock felt a heavy weight settle in his chest.The captain had never threatened him before.The relationship between them had soured and Spock was not certain if it could be repaired.“I’m aware of that, Captain.”Spock’s voice cracked with deep pain.“I trust that you are aware of the reverse.”  


He took his leave of Kirk, Seren trailing behind.Since Kirk was out wandering the ship, it only stood to reason that Leonard would be free.Spock felt agitated from his conversation with Kirk.He needed relief from stress and responsibility.He would take his “therapy” with the doctor now.Leonard always knew what Spock needed.  


*****  


Moments later, Spock used his override code to enter the doctor’s room.McCoy was alone, as expected.What was not expected was the man tearing about, as if looking for something.

“It’s got to be here somewhere,” Leonard muttered.He knelt down, looking underneath the bed.The action pulled the regulation trousers tight against the doctor’s posterior.The unintentional display reminded Spock why he was there.It really had been too long.  


Spock coughed to get the older man’s attention.Leonard jumped and spun to face the Vulcan.  


“Don’t sneak up on me like that.”He ran a hand through his hair, mussing it a little.Leonard peered at Spock with a nervous gaze.“What are you doing here, Mr. Spock?” 

“I am here for my personal consultation,” Spock replied.  


“Oh.”Leonard looked confused.He glanced around the room.“Let me get my tricorder.”He started to move away from the bed.  


Spock strode forward and caught his mate’s shoulders.With a slight push, he forced McCoy to sit at the edge of the mattress.Leonard stared up at him with startled blue eyes.

“Stay.”  


McCoy nodded.  


The Vulcan slid to his knees, green hands trailing down from the doctor’s shoulders to his knees.He opened Leonard’s legs, inserting himself between the trembling thighs.Leonard’s breath hitched in his throat.  


Spock leaned forward, nuzzling against Leonard’s exposed neck.He could feel his mate’s body responding.Arousal pushed its way forward, mixing with other emotions Spock did not care to identify.Long green fingers caught on the doctor’s fly and tugged.  


McCoy’s hand shot out to grab Spock’s wrist.“What are you doing?” he asked.  


Spock almost reeled from the fear the doctor was projecting.Why was Leonard afraid?He decided to use humor to defuse the situation, a technique that he had observed Leonard use before.“I was going to perform fellatio, Leonard.It is usually used as a form of foreplay before engaging in intercourse.”  


Leonard turned bright red.The fear disappeared, only to be replaced by shame and guilt.  


“What is wrong?” Spock asked.  


“I’m just tired, Spock,” Leonard answered.It was true.Even if he could not read the doctor’s surface emotions, he could see it in the slump in Leonard’s shoulders and the droop of his eyelids.“It’s been a long day.”  


Spock agreed.“This mission has been exceptionally trying.”He leaned forward and pressed his lips against Leonard’s.He used his tongue to pry open his mate’s reluctant mouth then pulled away, shocked by the taste of bourbon.

Anxiety painted Leonard’s face and thrummed under his skin.His fingers twitched with guilt.“This isn’t a good idea.”

Spock had to remind himself that Vulcans do not whine.“Leonard, it has been eight days.”  


“I’m sorry but this is not a good time,” McCoy said.He lifted a placating hand to Spock’s arm.“Let’s try again tomorrow.I should be back to my old self then.”  


“Very well.”Spock rose to his feet, perturbed.This evening had not gone well at all.He turned to leave.  


“Spock, is something else bothering you?” Leonard asked.

The Vulcan sighed.“Yes.”  


Leonard shuffled over, making room for Spock on the bed.The Vulcan took the silent invitation and sat down.  


The doctor’s back was straight and tense.His hands lay limp in his lap, as if he was uncertain what to do with them.“So what is it?” Leonard asked.  


“I fear that your concerns regarding a power shift on the Enterprise are justified,” Spock said.“Chekov has already made an attempt on the captain’s life.There will be others.”

Leonard frowned.“What can we do about it?”

“The sooner that Kirk subdues the Halkans, the sooner we can restore order,” Spock explained.“Ship’s confidence in the captain is at a dramatic low.The crew will not accept a weakling as captain.”

There was a long silence as McCoy pondered this.“Do you trust him?” Leonard finally asked.“Do you trust Captain Kirk?”  


Spock sighed.“I wish I could, Leonard.”The Vulcan stood.“Although you do not share my opinions regarding his intentions towards you, there have been other signs.I believe he may use this incident to make a move against me.”

Leonard’s eyes widened in alarm.He grabbed Spock’s arm and pulled him back down onto the bed.“He wouldn’t, Spock.”

The Vulcan’s dark eyes searched his mate.“Why?”  


“Just trust me,” Leonard said.The older man seemed to steel himself up for something and cupped Spock’s face in his hands.The plea for understanding burned through Leonard’s fingers.“He’s not trying to kill you.I may not always know what Kirk’s plans are but I do know this.All he wants is to do what’s best for his crew.”

The truth of Leonard’s words was overwhelming.The doctor’s conviction blazed like a fire.“Just let him do what he has to do,” he said.

There was little Spock could do in the face of such determination.He demurred.“I will, Leonard.”

Leonard’s lips curved into a small smile.The older man debated for a moment and then kissed Spock’s forehead.

“Now get some rest, Spock.You look like hell.”

*****  


The First Officer returned to his quarters sexually unsatisfied and more confused than ever.Leonard had told him to trust Kirk, but he still had doubts.His mate had defended the captain before but never with such vehemence.Spock was also troubled by Leonard’s refusal of sex.  


Leonard had begged off of sexual relations before but never with this strange mixture of emotions.But of all of the things Leonard had projected, the guilt was the most troubling.  


Spock was brought out of his thoughts by the message light blinking on his console.He sat down at his desk to receive the transmission.  


It was a top priority communication from Starfleet Command.As he read the orders, Spock felt his stomach churn.Starfleet had already been made aware of Kirk’s hesitation regarding the Halkans and were prepared to terminate the captain with extreme prejudice.  


He had to warn Kirk.

Spock pressed the communication button on his intercom.He barked a quick order at the computer and waited for the captain to reply.  


“Kirk here.”  


“Mr. Spock, Captain,” Spock said.  


“Yes?”  


Spock raised an eyebrow at the captain’s casual tone.“I have received a private communication from Starfleet Command.I am committing a breach of regulations by informing you of its contents.”He hoped that Kirk understood how serious this was. 

“Yes, Mr. Spock?”Kirk sounded mildly curious.  


“I am instructed to wait until planet dawn over principal target to permit you to carry out our mission,” Spock explained.  


“And,” Kirk paused, “if I don’t?”  


“In that event,” Spock said, “I am ordered to kill you and to proceed against the Halkans as the new captain of the _Enterprise_.”  

There was a stunned silence on the other end of the com.“Captain?” Spock said.  


“Thank you for the information, Mr. Spock,” Kirk replied, his voice flat.“Kirk out.”  


Now he knew something was amiss.The captain acted much too calm for a man who had just been told that he would be assassinated in a few hours.Kirk should have ranted and raved or displayed some other sort of emotion.This sedate man was not the Captain Kirk he knew.  


Paired with Dr. McCoy’s strange guilt, a pattern was starting to emerge.Spock regretted not being able to observe the other two members of the landing party though he had no doubt that they would also exhibit abnormal behavioral patterns.  


“Computer, locate Chief Engineer Scott,” Spock ordered.  


“In Engineering,” the computer responded.  


“Computer, locate Lt. Uhura." 

“On the bridge.”  


Spock nodded; these were both expected.“Computer, location of Captain Kirk.”

“In his quarters.”  


Excellent, this meant that the captain had not determined a course of action yet.Spock dithered on whether or not he needed Leonard’s location.He had left the man in his quarters, but there was no guarantee that he had stayed there.  


“Location of Dr. Leonard McCoy,” Spock requested.  


“In Engineering.”  


Spock raised an eyebrow.“Have there been any reports of injuries in Engineering?”  


“Negative.”  


Leonard had no reason to be in Engineering.Even when he socialized with Scott, the doctor always entertained the man in the recreation room or his quarters.This was definitely out of the norm.  


Spock searched the databanks for recent activity in Engineering.He frowned.Apparently the computer had been used a great deal recently 

“Computer? 

“Ready,” the computer answered.

“Explain computer activity in the engineering section,” Spock ordered.

“A security research is in progress.”

Interesting.“Who is conducting the research?”

“The Captain and Mr. Scott.”

The Vulcan considered this for a moment.“What is the nature of the research?”

“Program is classified under voice index log.”

That meant that they did not want their activities found out.

The communications interference alarm sprang to life on his console.Sulu was spying on him again.Spock turned on the intercom. “Why are you monitoring my communications, Mr. Sulu?”

“My security board has detected extensive use of computer, Mr. Spock,” Sulu replied.“I was about to inform you.”

Spock doubted that. 

“It’s not hard to guess the nature of your order from Starfleet Command,” Sulu continued.

Spock bristled.If Sulu knew about the communiqué, there others would know about it as well.Sulu might not have the resources to actually spy on the contents, but he was not a fool.“I suggest a connection, the captain suspects.He’s working on escape or defense,” the helmsman insisted.

Spock found himself echoing his captain’s words.“That is my concern.”

“Correct,” Sulu said.“It’s your play.”The Security Chief continued, “I hope you succeed, because the order would fall on me next and you know how Captain Kirk’s enemies have a habit of disappearing.”

Spock loathed the politics of Starfleet.He had to put Sulu in his place now or risk an open rebellion.“If I am successful, you see yourself a step nearer to the captaincy,” he said.“I do not want to command the _Enterprise_ , but if it should befall me, I suggest you remember than my operatives would avenge my death.”He paused for the greatest effect.“And some of them are Vulcans.”

The helmsman did not reply and the communication cut off.

Sulu was right.The captain was plotting something and that something concerned Scott and Leonard.Uhura, if not directly involved, certainly knew about it.The repeated attempts at silencing her attested to that. 

But Leonard had been telling the truth when he had told Spock to trust Kirk.Even without the touch telepathy, the Vulcan would have been able to tell if the man had been lying.There were two possibilities, Leonard was telling the absolute truth or he only thought he was telling the truth.If the latter were the case--

Spock grew distressed at the theory that was forming.All of the strange behaviors of the landing party could be attributed to mind control.The captain was far too complacent, completely out of his normal character.The outspoken Uhura was shut down in her attempts to speak outside of ship’s business.Commander Scott would never endanger the ship, but if he was telepathically controlled he could be forced to do anything.As could Leonard. 

The Halkans were a new race, their culture undocumented outside of their pacifism.It was entirely possible for them to have telepathic abilities.It could also explain how they had remained unmolested for so long.By controlling the minds of others, the Halkans could defend themselves without dirtying their own hands.They could claim to be peaceful while being anything but. 

Spock knew that he was jumping to conclusions, but there was little time for a proper investigation.Leonard had been hurt enough by telepaths, the thought of yet another psychic attack against his mate filled Spock with anger.“Computer, locate Captain Kirk.”

The computer replied, “In the Transporter Room.”

If the captain sabotaged the transporters, there would be little to no chance for escape from the _Enterprise_.The shuttles could only hold so many crew members and they were too slow for a mass evacuation.And who knew what Scott and Leonard were doing down in Engineering?

Spock grabbed a phaser and raced to the Transporter Room.He had to stop the captain.Kirk was at the controls when the Vulcan entered.

“Please restrict your movements, Captain.”Spock approached Kirk and stripped the man of his weapons.He then stepped away from Kirk, making his way toward the transporter controls to look them over.Nothing seemed to be out of place.He kept the phaser trained on the captain.“What are you doing?” 

“Are you going to shoot me now, Spock?” Kirk asked.“I thought I had until dawn.” 

The captain’s bravado did not impress the Vulcan.“I shall make that decision,” he said.“Since your return from the planet, you’ve behaved in a most atypical and illogical manner.I want to know why.”

Kirk crossed his arms and leaned on them, a picture of nonchalance.“Shoot.You’re wasting time.” 

If Kirk was under mind control, then it must be very strong indeed.“I shall not waste time with you,” Spock said.“You’re too inflexible, too disciplined once you’ve made up your mind.”Leonard, on the other hand, was vulnerable due to his previous experiences with telepaths.If Spock melded with him, he could discover the Halkans’ plans and destroy their control.

Spock ignored the voice of his conscience telling him that this was an excuse to get what he had always wanted, mental intimacy from Leonard.“But Dr. McCoy has a plentitude of human weaknesses,” he said, thinking of how Leonard had helped him get to Vulcan, “sentimental, soft.You may not tell me what I want to know, but he will.”

For the first time, Kirk sounded angry.“You’re running a big risk, Spock.”

The captain had no idea.If Spock was wrong, then he would have done what so many had done before to his mate.If he violated Leonard’s mind and did not find evidence of mind control, the older man would never forgive him.

The Vulcan’s voice was hard.“I have the phaser, Captain,” Spock said, reminding the captain of his precarious position.“And I do not intend to simply disappear as so many of your opponents have in the past.”Kirk finally looked at Spock.The Vulcan indicated the door with his phaser.“If you please.Sickbay.”  


The captain sauntered to the door, Spock close behind.In a matter of moments, Spock would find out what had happened on the planet’s surface.He would discover whether or not there was a Halkan conspiracy against the _Enterprise_.He only hoped that the knowledge was worth the price.

 


	9. Chapter 9

He led Kirk through the corridors of the ship, avoiding all contact with the crew. Spock wanted to focus on the issue at hand, rather than have to fend off possible assault either to his person or the captain’s. 

They kept silent, not caring for the pleasantries of conversation; this suited Spock just fine.

The sickbay doors opened and Spock forced Kirk to enter. Once inside, he noticed the other occupants of the room, Scott, Uhura and Leonard. “Yes, of course, the entire landing party,” Spock said. He had expected something like this. At least this way he could gain control of the situation in moments.

“Captain, stand over there.” Spock pointed to the left with his phaser. Confident that the captain would obey such an order, Spock turned his attention to Leonard. “Doctor,” he said, “it is time for answers.”

This turned out to be a grave error. Kirk whirled around, disarming Spock with this left hand and punching with his right. Startled, Spock stepped back before grabbing the captain and tossing him over the stamina-testing machine. 

Montgomery Scott rushed at the Vulcan. Spock grappled with Scott before throwing him into Lt. Uhura. Leonard rushed for him, obviously trying to subdue Spock rather than hurt him, but Spock had been trained in combat and Leonard had not. 

It was a simple matter for Spock to flip Leonard over his shoulder and out of harm’s way. Now if he only had the good sense to stay down-- 

It was a momentary distraction but it was all that Kirk needed. The captain vaulted over the stamina machine, driving his feet into Spock’s midsection. Spock grunted in pain as he fell back into the doorway. He had never seen the captain use such a maneuver before; it was rather startling. Despite the wind being knocked out of him, Spock continued to fight. He could not afford to lose or the Enterprise was doomed.

Kirk came at him again but Spock was ready. He slapped the captain, stunning him before hitting him a second time. Kirk fell back onto the machine, helpless and dazed. Spock pounced, arms posed to drive into the captain’s solar plexus.

Kirk gasped and rolled out of the way before he could connect. They fought like animals, driving at each other with furious kicks and punches. 

Delicate hands grabbed at Spock’s shoulders, pulling him back. Spock did not want to hurt Lt. Uhura, but she was in the way. He tossed her to the side, trying to keep her out of the fray. 

Leonard yanked Spock’s arms back, hoping to immobilize the Vulcan. But Spock was too experienced a fighter and he flipped Leonard onto his back. In the confusion, Scott tried to tackle the Vulcan but was thrown by his own momentum.

With the others disposed of, Spock risked looking at Leonard. The doctor lay on the ground, not moving. Concern for his mate drove Spock to Leonard’s side. Before he could reach the man, Kirk came at Spock with warning, slamming him against the far wall.

This was the second time that Kirk had surprised him in this fight. Spock was getting careless; he could not afford to be careless. Kirk punched him and pain exploded across his jaw. Furious, Spock’s eyes flared as he retaliated with his fists. 

Leonard and Scott rushed at Spock again, trying to pin him down. Spock tossed both men off with no effort. He was starting to tire and knew that he had to end this fight quickly. Before he could act, there was the sound of something shattering and a flare of agony in the back of his skull. Spock succumbed to the darkness without a word.

*****

He had not expected to wake up again. When his consciousness had slipped away, Spock had believed he was dead. 

He came to on a biobed with Leonard leaning over him and staring at the readouts. Leonard had healed him. Despite his great affection for the Vulcan, Spock doubted that Leonard could resist mind-control enough to not kill him if ordered. That meant that Kirk had let Leonard operate.

Why?

Spock rolled off the biobed with smooth grace, his hand latching around his mate’s wrist. Leonard trembled, trying to keep the fear from his face.

Spock stared at Leonard, the silence a heavy weight.

“Why did the captain let me live?” Spock asked.

He did not answer but tried to jerk away. Spock tightened his grip on the fragile limb; Leonard glanced down at Spock’s hand, too surprised to move away. The Vulcan pushed forward, driving his mate back.

Leonard did not speak, his blue eyes wide and fixed on Spock’s immobile face. Spock could feel Leonard’s pulse racing under his palm. The taste of his mate’s fear lay heavy on his tongue but still Leonard remained silent.

Spock backed Leonard into the sickbay wall, trapping the smaller man.

Spock had no time. Leonard was not speaking and the ship was in danger. He had no choice.

Spock’s hand rose, his elegant fingers pressing against the beloved face. He spread his fingertips to the psi points he had always wanted to touch. Leonard twitched but could not move away. Spock felt a thrill go up his spine as he spoke the ritualistic words. 

“Our minds are merging, Doctor.” Spock’s voice was rough, arousal drowning out all concern and shame. “Our minds are one. I feel what you feel. I know what you know.” He pressed himself closer to his mate, as if he could merge their bodies as well as their minds.

Awareness ripped through him as Leonard’s thoughts were pried open. 

The transporter room is wrong. Why are our uniforms changed? Why does Spock have a beard? What did that crazy Vulcan just do to Kyle? The orderlies are torturing a man. We have to get out of here, this is all wrong!

Sulu should have no scars. Chekov is a murderer here. Chapel tortures, Chapel kills. My nurse is a sadist.

Spock, Spock, Spock. So confusing, so similar and so different. He came to me. My Spock will never come to me. Never ask me, never—

Stop it. Stop it. Stop it! This is not my universe, not my sickbay. This place is not my home! I want to go home! I want to go home!

Spock pulled himself from the tumultuous emotions, awed by their strength. The mind-touch had been brief, but intense. One thing became immediately clear: this was not his Leonard. Spock felt an unwelcome shudder of dread; Kirk, Scott, Uhura, he knew none of them. His mate was soft, yes, but this man came from a universe of softness, of kindness and empathy. It was like gazing into a fractured mirror with all the edges mended to make something more beautiful than what was once there. 

Leonard, no Dr. McCoy, reeled from the shock. Spock looked the human over, glad that he appeared to be physically unharmed. The strange Dr. McCoy grinned at him with an all too familiar expression. “You’ve got it bad, darlin’,” he said, his voice slipping into a thick drawl as if he were drunk. 

It took Spock a moment to understand the curious comment. He had the grace to look only mildly annoyed. “There must have been some transference during the meld; I apologize.” 

“I’ll say.” McCoy grimaced and clutched the side of his head. He tried to move forward but was unsteady on his feet. He collapsed back against the wall, closing his eyes against sudden dizziness. 

Spock had not been as gentle as he should have been when exiting McCoy’s mind but they had no time to wait for recovery. “We must move quickly,” he said. “Where are your companions?”

“The transporter room, Scotty’s got it rigged to get us out of this nightmare,” McCoy replied.

“Would they leave without you?” Spock asked.

The doctor snorted. “Jim wouldn’t want to but if he had no other choice—“ He let the thought trail off unsaid.

Spock moved to the communication console. “Engineering,” he said, “cut power to the transporters.”

“What?” McCoy’s features twisted in anger. “Why would you—“

There was no time. Spock took McCoy’s arm in a firm grip and yanked the other man into the hallway. “I am not about to insult your intelligence by pretending this is for anything other than selfish reasons” He marched the doctor down to the transporter room at a steady pace, ignoring McCoy’s protests. “Your Captain’s erratic behavior in regard to the Halkans has put the crew of my ship in an untenable position. I must restore order as quickly as possible to keep the Empire from retaliating.” 

“So that’s it then?” McCoy’s familiar face glared at Spock in disgust. “You’re just going to destroy the Halkans? You’re going to wipe an innocent population off the map because they won’t give you what you want?”

As they approached the door, Spock paused looking straight into McCoy’s eyes. “I will do anything to preserve the autonomy of this ship and keep my mate safe.”

McCoy sneered, unimpressed. “I’m sure he’ll be proud of you.” 

Spock opened the door, ignoring the cutting remark. He had expected the remainder of the landing party, but the presence of Lt. Moreau was a surprise. Evidently she had also discovered the truth. Fascinating. 

Spock turned his attention to the alternate captain. “I cut the transporter power. It was necessary to delay your beam-out until I could arrive.” He handed McCoy over to Scott without a second glance; he had other business to attend to. In seconds he made his way over to the transporter and gave the order: “Engineering, re-activate main transporter circuits.”

Kirk looked surprised. “You’re a man of integrity in both universes, Mr. Spock.”

“You must return to your universe. I must have my captain back.” Just the facts, he owed these strangers no further explanations. “I shall operate the transporter. You have two minutes and ten seconds.”

“In that time I have something to say,” Kirk said. “How long before the Halkan prediction of galactic revolt is realized?”

Spock was intrigued at the line of questioning. “Approximately two hundred and forty years.”

“The inevitable outcome?” Kirk asked.

“The Empire shall be overthrown,” Spock answered, “of course.”

“The illogic of waste, Mr. Spock. The waste of lives, potential, resources, time.” This alien Kirk spoke with passion, not one born of conquest but of a love of life. “I submit to you that your Empire is illogical because it cannot endure. I submit that you are illogical to be a willing part of it.”

Spock stared at Kirk with disinterest. The man was speaking the truth but they were on a time limit. “You have one minute and twenty-three seconds,”

“If change is inevitable, predictable, beneficial, doesn’t logic demand that you be a part of it?” Kirk asked.

The other man was surprisingly persuasive. “One man cannot summon the future,” Spock argued.

“But one man can change the present. Be the captain of this Enterprise, Mr. Spock.” Spock bristled; he had no interest in higher command. “Find a logical reason for sparing the Halkans and make it stick,” Kirk said. “Push till it gives. You can defend yourself better than any man in the fleet.”

“Captain, get in the chamber!” Scott yelled.

Kirk moved away, heading to the transporter pad. As he passed Moreau he paused and looked back at the Vulcan. “What about it, Spock?”

Words mean nothing against those who wield force. Kirk’s aim was noble, but directionless. “A man must also have the power,” Spock argued.

The other universe’s Kirk considered something for a moment. “In my cabin is a device that will make you invincible,” he said.

Spock raised an eyebrow in surprise; this was unexpected information. “Indeed?”

Kirk placed his hand over Lt. Moreau’s; it seemed that the two had shared an intimacy, however brief, in the time after the incident that brought him to this universe. The starship captain joined his compatriots in the transporter and looked to Spock with renewed determination. “What will it be?” he asked. “Past or future? Tyranny or freedom? It’s up to you.”

Spock glanced at the clock. “It is time.”

Kirk was determined to have the last word. “In every revolution, there’s one man with a vision.”

“Captain Kirk,” Spock said, “I shall consider it.”

The transporter came on with a flash of light the strangers were gone, replaced with the all too familiar. Captain Kirk stormed off the platform, his face a twisted snarl. “We’ve wasted too much time,” he said. “I bet those other versions of ourselves were too soft to finish what we started. We need to destroy the Halkans now before the Empire has my head.”

Spock thought about the other captain’s words for a moment. Although he had no particular desire to keep the Halkans alive, he also did not crave their destruction. Perhaps an experiment was in order. “But we cannot, Sir.”

Kirk’s attention turned to Spock, dangerous and sharp. “Are you ignoring a direct order, Mr. Spock?”

“No Captain,” Spock said, “but Lt. Moreau has brought it to my attention that an offensive could have a disastrous effect on our mission.”

To her credit, Lt. Moreau did not hesitate. “I discovered that the dilithium crystals underneath the surface are volatile,” she said. “Any sort of sustained energy pulse could destabilize the crystals’ structure causing an explosion.” 

“And?” Kirk asked, too agitated to think it through.

“If the crystals explode we’ll have failed our mission,” Moreau concluded. “We can’t collect what has been destroyed, Captain.” Spock was impressed; her improvisation was not only excellent, but scientifically sound. 

Kirk nodded, he was not too far-gone to listen to logic. “I’ll need a different strategy,” he said. “Call Sulu, we’ll organize a ground assault and take the dilithium.”

“He attempted to take command of the ship in your absence,” Moreau said. “I took care of the problem.”

“Where he is now?” Kirk asked.

“Sulking I gather,” Spock answered.

The captain’s mouth grew into a lazy smile. He placed his hands on Moreau’s hips, pleased. “You clever little minx,” he said. “We’ll let the Halkans have a little more time. I need to recover from my recent ordeal.” From the way his eyes raked over Moreau’s frame, Spock had little doubt as to the captain’s meaning. “All of you are dismissed. Report for duty on your next scheduled shift.”

He departed with Moreau on his arm. She gave a brief glance at Spock as she left, the message was clear: she was not going to forget what the other Kirk had said. As the rest of the crew dispersed, Spock asked McCoy, “Do you need to examine anyone, Doctor?”

“No,” Leonard replied. “The only harm done was to his ego.” He jerked his head in the direction Kirk had gone. “We were spotted right away and locked in the brig. Kirk spent his time screaming like a lunatic at the other Spock.” Leonard’s lip quirked up. “Not his finest moment.” 

“What about you?” Spock asked.

“I didn’t spend any time bothering with the other Spock,” McCoy said. “He wasn’t you.”

Guilt was not an emotion that Spock was prone to but it plagued him now. Though nothing physical had happened with the other McCoy, he had propositioned him and violated his mind. 

Leonard noticed the change in Spock’s demeanor. “Are you all right?”

“The past few hours have been stressful, Doctor.” It was not a lie; Spock’s bones ached with weariness. “I believe I need some rest.”

The doctor and Spock parted ways, with nothing more affectionate than a nod. Leonard did not feel safe enough for something more demonstrative. Spock retired to his rooms to mediate and sleep. It was several hours into the next shift that he heard a knock outside his door.

It was Lt. Moreau, looking disheveled but calm. She had that glow in her cheeks that, after many months with Leonard, he recognized as post-coitus excitement. “Kirk is down on the surface leading a raid. We have time.” Spock led her into his private quarters; Moreau took a seat on the floor, legs crossed. Spock offered her refreshment but she abstained, this was not a social call. “The other Kirk is right,” she said. “There is a device in the Captain’s room. He uses it to spy on his enemies and for his own personal amusement.”

“How?” Spock asked. 

“It is hooked into the ship itself and allows him to see everywhere at anytime.” Spock found the news most distressing. He fidgeted on his seat, enough that the Captain’s Woman noticed. She smiled; it was not friendly. “I know what you want to ask me. Yes, the Captain knows about you and Dr. McCoy.”

Spock pursed his lips together. “For how long?”

Moreau looked sympathetic. “Almost since the beginning.”

Now Spock was confused. “Why has he not acted against us?” He had been so certain that the moment Kirk knew that they would be dead.

“Because he also knows that you are not conspiring against him,” Moreau explained. She looked at him with a sense of superiority. It was not often that she found herself in that position and she was enjoying it.

Spock asked the question he most feared the answer to: “Does he covet Leonard?”

Moreau flinched, her face clouding. There was a chink in her armor even after having just come from the Captain’s bed. “Yes,” she answered, voice tight.

“Dr. McCoy is mine.” Spock said, possessiveness seeping into his speech. “Why would he wish to incur my wrath?”

“Simple, he has the ear of the second most powerful man on the ship and he does nothing with it,” Moreau explained. “McCoy wants you for you. Do you know how intoxicating that is for a man in power? To simply be wanted for yourself?” The way she spoke betrayed the romanticism of a little girl still hoping for happiness. Spock allowed himself some pity for this dangerous ally. 

He risked the question. “Do you love the Captain?”

Moreau startled at Spock’s boldness, she cast her eyes down. “I did perhaps, once upon a time.” It was a difficult admission; her hands trembled.

“And now?” Spock asked. 

She bit her lower lip, mulling over her answer. “I had a taste of what things could have been,” she said, “and I feel that I deserve nothing less.” Moreau met Spock’s gaze, her eyes wet. “I won’t accept false promises from men any longer Mr. Spock. So I ask you, what do you as captain promise me?”

Spock told her the truth. “I do not wish to be captain.”

The blood drained from Moreau’s face. “Then how do we—“

“The increase in rank makes me a target and it will put Leonard in danger, a situation I cannot tolerate.” He was calm, almost blasé in his response. “I prefer to remain where I am. I do not have the required skills to become captain at this time nor the desire. To place me in such a position would be disastrous.” 

Moreau’s hands clenched into fists, “But if you won’t be captain then who will?”

“I will analyze any potential candidates from the crew based on my observations on the best qualities in a leader.” It was only logical. He already had several possibilities in mind; he would just take the next week or so to narrow down his choices. 

Moreau was furious. “And what will happen to me? Am I to be cast aside, used like a cheap--”

Spock held up a placating hand. “If you choose to be the next Captain’s Woman that will be your choice but I believe another arrangement can be reached.”

She took in a deep, calming breath. “What do you propose?”

“Whomever I choose as the next captain will require my protection and my time. I feel that I will no longer be able to perform my duties as Chief Science Officer after the coup,” Spock explained.

The hope was naked on Moreau’s face; this was a possibility she had never dreamed of. “Are you saying—“ she didn’t dare finish the thought.

“You have proved yourself more than capable as a Science Officer and your quick thinking in the transporter room demonstrates an able and flexible mind. There are few I would trust in the position and I feel that it would give you more security than being a glorified concubine,” Spock said.

Moreau bristled at the insult. “There are very few positions available to my sex, Mr. Spock,” she said.

Spock agreed. “Which is why it’s opportune that we can make one.”

She deliberated for a moment. “I may take that drink now.” It was a simple glass of wine, but it symbolized so much more. As she drank, her eyes on Spock the entire time, she was sealing their deal. “Will you bring this arrangement to your potential new captain’s attention?” she asked.

“Of course,” Spock said. “It would be illogical to bring someone into power who would ignore agreements made in good faith.” He took a sip of wine himself, showing his intent. “When may I see the device?”

“Soon,” Moreau said. “I wish to disable it first to keep Kirk from finding out our plot.” She rose to her feet, poised and elegant as always. “Let me know the minute you have a new captain.”

“And once I see the device we’ll be able to plan our coup accordingly,” Spock said.

She smiled, dark and mysterious. “Oh Mr. Spock, once you have the Tantalus Device, this ship will kneel before you. You may regret not making yourself Captain.” 

“Leonard’s safety is my primary concern,” Spock insisted. “Power means nothing if I am alone.”

Moreau measured Spock’s continence, his bearing. “Perhaps you are right, you do not have what it takes to be captain.” She slid open the door, her back to the commander. “However, that may be a blessing.”

Then she was gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for this chapter coming about four or five years after the last. Life has been incredibly busy and then work (surprisingly) gave me motivation to finish chapter nine. I hope to be able to finally finish this story this year. Thank you for your patience.


	10. Chapter 10

Replacing the captain was not a simple matter; there were many factors to consider. One was chain of command: pulling a candidate from too far down the line would weaken the entire command structure. Another was cunning and social intelligence. A clever captain not only has to navigate the external politics of the Empire but the internal politics of his starship. Misreading another’s intentions or betraying the wrong person could lead to disaster. Which led to the last consideration: which choice would keep Leonard safe. 

Spock’s options were limited to himself, Sulu, Scott and Uhura. During the confrontation in sickbay, Sulu had attempted murder, not only on the captain, but also on the entire landing party. Spock was only alive due to Moreau’s interference. The man had proved himself a threat not only to Spock, but to Leonard as well. That could not be tolerated; Sulu would have to be eliminated. 

Scotty, on the other hand, was friendly to McCoy and tolerant of Spock. However, he had no stomach for politics outside of his own personal realm. His first love was the Enterprise and anyone who threatened her earned his considerable wrath. His loyalty could be earned by loving the ship for her power, while respecting her limits. Still, Spock could not see the man as Captain; he was simply ill suited for the role. 

That left only one possibility, Uhura. In some ways, she was the biggest risk of them all. Moreau had not been wrong in her assessment that there were few ways for women to gain power in Starfleet and for a woman to be captain was unheard of. Yet. There had also been a time when Vulcans had not been permitted in Starfleet or when men had only dreamed of sailing among the stars. For a practice to become standard, for a barrier to be broken there always has to be a first. Could Uhura be the first and would she be up to the challenge?

Spock had not just been flattering Moreau when he told her that a change of command would reduce his time pursing other duties. He had every intention of backing his new captain, of keeping them safe as long as they remained loyal in turn. The first few weeks after a coup was when a new captain was the most vulnerable; Spock would have to use all the resources at his disposal to maintain vigilance. 

In the days following the Halkan incident, Kirk grew more paranoid and volatile. The entire crew took to either avoidance or submission to avoid his anger. With the captain’s current behavior, Spock doubted that there would be much objection to a change of command. 

It was a week before he approached Uhura and then only after Moreau had given him the signal that she had disabled Kirk’s mysterious device. “Lt. Uhura, I require a moment of your time.”

The communications officer raised an elegantly arched eyebrow. “Do you now?” she asked. “How do you know I’m not otherwise engaged?”

“You rebuffed the attentions of Mr. Sulu earlier,” Spock said. “Violently.”

Uhura leaned against the wall, her arms by her sides, hand within easy reach of her knife. “How do you know we weren’t engaging in foreplay, Mr. Spock?”

Spock was no fool. “When you are just toying with Mr. Sulu your blade tends to stay above the belt.”

She just smiled. “May I suggest my quarters? I sweep them for bugs every night, no one will be listening.”

“That is agreeable.”

Spock allowed himself to be led through the twisting corridors of the ship to Uhura’s room. Although he was aware of its general location, he had never been inside. His interactions with the communications officer stuck to the professional and never strayed any further. It was a simple but elegant room, one that Uhura took obvious pride in. She poured a glass of exotic whiskey for herself and Spock, acting as a gracious hostess. Once settled on a chaise, Uhura stretched like a cat and fixed Spock with her dark stare. “I know you have no interest in a liaison Mr. Spock so I will get right to the point, why are you here?”

Spock took a sip, to demonstrate trust; he was gratified when Uhura followed suit; the beverages were not poisoned. “I propose an alliance, one that should be beneficial to us both.”

He had her attention. “What could a simple communications gal possibly offer to a First Officer of the Fleet?” Uhura was a woman who knew men all too well. She knew exactly what they wanted to hear and how they wanted to hear it. Her demure act would have fooled anyone, except for Spock.

“It is not what you can offer now but what you could offer in the future,” he paused for effect, “as Captain of the Enterprise.” 

Uhura-- beautiful, sensuous Uhura-- choked on her drink. She coughed and sputtered, a comical sight considering she was usually so well composed. She slammed her glass on a table while she got ahold of herself. She glared at the Vulcan. “Are you mocking me?”

“Hardly,” Spock said. “I have found that my relationship with the current captain has become strained and I do not foresee reconciliation in the future. In order to secure my position I will need to follow a new captain.”

“So Kirk finally made a move on McCoy?” Uhura asked.

That was not a line of questioning Spock was prepared for. “No. But how do you know about Dr. McCoy?”

“I have ears everywhere Mr. Spock,” Uhura said. At Spock’s frown she reassured him, “Don’t worry, you have been very careful. No one else seems to know or if they do they would never act on the knowledge.” She smirked, harmless flirtation being second nature. “You cut a very intimidating figure.”

“And would you have acted on that knowledge?” Spock asked.

“I already have,” Uhura said. “I have never approached you or your good doctor. I know which battles are worth fighting.”

“And the battle to be captain?” Spock asked.

“Only if you answer me this: why not do it yourself?” Uhura was shrewd. Honestly, if she hadn’t asked the question Spock would have been disappointed. “I would serve under you; you’d have little resistance from most of the crew, why not take it?”

“I lack the desire,” Spock replied. “My primary concern is the safety of Dr. McCoy.”

She took another sip of amber liquid, her face a mask of studious contemplation. “This doctor of yours must really be something.” 

Spock could only say: “Indeed.”

Uhura set down her glass. “What is your plan for the rest of the command structure? I can’t captain a ship all by myself.”

“I would continue on as your First Officer, but Sulu,” Spock hesitated for a moment. Uhura and Sulu had spent years dancing around each other, he couldn’t be certain as to the exact nature of their relationship. If she held the other man in higher esteem than Spock had calculated, the entire plan would fall apart. “Has proven too ambitious. He must be destroyed.” 

Uhura gave him a wry smile. Her finger danced around the rim of her glass, her eyes watching her own movements. “A year ago my answer would have been very different Mr. Spock, but Hikaru has become troublesome, disappointing even.” She sounded wistful. “I’m certain we can find someone more amenable among his subordinates.”

“A year ago I would not have even considered this course of action,” Spock admitted. 

Uhura murmured an agreement. How time changed everything. “Which leaves Mr. Scott.”

“I would prefer to keep him alive,” Spock said. “His knowledge of the ship’s systems is invaluable. He would be impossible to replace.”

“I agree,” Uhura said. “I would like to approach him myself, Mr. Spock.” From her tone of voice, Uhura did not want a lengthy discussion on the matter.

“I take it the conversation would not be merely political in nature?” Spock asked.

Uhura looked a little surprised that Spock even had the capacity to tease. “I’ve found the idea of courting Mr. Scott an interesting challenge, to see if I could get him to see a lady other than the Enterprise. Besides, I would rather have a Captain’s Man who is more than just décor.” She smiled to herself, as if contemplating a private joke. “Speaking of which, what is to become of Marlena?”

Spock could not have predicted Uhura’s use of the familiar in referring to Moreau. Perhaps they knew each other better than he had thought. “She is an integral part of the plan and wish no harm to come to her.” 

She waited for clarification, her face a careful blank. “Go on.”

“I have offered her my position as Chief Science Officer to ensure her cooperation,” Spock explained. 

“Good,” Uhura said. At Spock’s expression she clarified. “Don’t misunderstand, Mr. Spock after Marlena became Captain’s Woman there was some resentment but women can’t get very far in Starfleet without some cooperation. So what exactly is your plan?”

Spock was evasive. “Lt. Moreau and I have to fine-tune the details, but I feel it would be in our best interests if you gained Mr. Scott’s cooperation before we proceed.”

“Yes,” Uhura agreed, her mouth a small frown. She did not like being kept in the dark, but the Enterprise was at stake. “I think that we need to give Kirk a little time to recover from the Halkan debacle. He’s on edge now and could stop this little coup before it begins.”

“We will reconvene at a later date.” Spock rose to his feet. He crossed his arms, and tapped his closed fist against his chest. Then he extended out his arm, palm flat. Uhura’s eyes widened. She stood and mimicked the Empire’s salute back to Spock. They were bound now by singular purpose. 

Patience was a virtue, especially among Vulcans and it served Spock well. As time passed, the crew became more disenchanted with Kirk. He rarely spoke with Uhura but she seemed pleased with her progress regarding Mr. Scott. Moreau demonstrated the Tantalus device, finally revealing to Spock how Kirk had kept the ship in terror for so long. The coup itself would be simple to execute and the conspirators were almost ready. This was, of course, the moment that Spock had became arrogant and let his guard down.

It was only luck that the one to catch him was Leonard McCoy. 

\-----

Spock was intimately familiar with the strap of leather Leonard extracted from the silver case. “Lesson two,” Leonard said and took Spock in hand. When he was satisfied he placed the ring at the base of Spock’s organ with a rough tug. “Intimacy.”

Leonard’s hand was warm, slick with lube as he stroked. “Now I have shared a lot of secrets with you Spock, told you things I’ve never told anyone else.” Spock nodded, his mouth slack and open as his nerves sang under his mate’s touch. McCoy watched him with heavy lidded eyes. “Which begs the question, why have you been spending so much time with Uhura and Moreau? Am I not a good enough conversationalist or are you getting something else?”

Leonard’s jealousy was an unpleasant spark in an otherwise pleasurable activity. He could feel it pulsing through Leonard’s fingers with every stroke. Spock wanted to hold his mate, give him reassuring touch but bond as he was all he could do was speak. It was difficult to keep his voice steady, but he would not let himself be overwhelmed. “My time with them is not of a personal nature.” 

“Then what is it, Spock?” Leonard asked.

Spock licked his dry lips. “It is political.”

“Don’t be coy with me, everything on this ship is political,” Leonard snapped. His hands became rough. “What are you doing with those women?”

Spock had hoped to keep his plans from Leonard, but that no longer seemed to be the wisest course of action. “We are plotting a coup.”

Leonard jerked his hand away, his eyebrows knit together in confusion. “A coup?” he asked. “You’re planning on killing Kirk?” 

Spock panted, straining upwards for his doctor’s touch. “Yes.”

“But why?” McCoy asked. “I thought you didn’t want high command?”

“I do not,” Spock answered. “I am installing another captain in Kirk’s place.”

Leonard ran a hand up to his hair then paused, remembering what they had just been doing. “Jesus.” 

“I haven’t told you so that if our plan became known then you would have plausible deniability,” Spock explained. “Everything I have done has been in the interest of your safety.”

“My safety?” Leonard nearly shouted. “That doesn’t mean a damn thing if Kirk finds out we’re together.”

“Leonard,” Spock said, swallowing. “He already knows.”

McCoy’s eyes went cold with fear, his voice low. “What do you mean, Kirk knows?”

“The captain,” Spock panted, it was too hard to concentrate. “He—“

“Shit. Shit. Shit,” McCoy muttered to himself. He straddled Spock, nimble fingers releasing the Vulcan’s cock from the too tight ring. “Got to get you out of this,” Leonard said. He released Spock’s wrists from their bindings and grasped at Spock’s cock. “No more games.” He moved forward, his lips covering Spock’s.

The Vulcan shuddered at the flood of emotions, the desire, the fear and that elusive warm feeling that Spock craved. He would nurture that emotion, protect it at all costs, he would even kill for it. Spock spent himself with a fluttering sigh. 

McCoy stood up and got a cloth from the silver case. He wiped Spock down, clinical and methodical. His flushed cheeks and quickened breaths were the only indicators of their recent activity. “How did he find out?”

“Captain Kirk has a device that enables him to spy on anyone anywhere on the Enterprise,” Spock explained, feeling much calmer and in control. “It also enables him to dispatch of his enemies.”

“How long has he known?” McCoy asked, handing Spock a pair of regulation pants. Of course the doctor had been prepared for the end of their rendezvous. 

Spock raised himself off the chair, dressing with as much dignity as he could muster. “Since almost the beginning.”

“Then why didn’t he do something?” Leonard sounded almost panicked. “I thought he would have had us killed.”

Spock knew that Leonard had never believed him before but he told the truth. “He covets you, Leonard.”

“No.” McCoy shook his head and starting pacing the room. “I’m nothing to look at Spock, why the hell—“

“Because you love me.” 

Spock had known somewhere deep in his mind that Leonard held a deep regard for him. Since the incident on Vulcan he had mulled over McCoy’s actions, trying to understand them and to one day repay them. Spock’s own desire for Leonard had intensified to a level he could not fathom until he had read the other McCoy’s mind. He had learned the word then, the only word that could describe that tender emotion, that depth of feeling that Leonard felt for him. 

Leonard clenched his fists, his face burned red with humiliation. “You arrogant green-blooded hobgoblin. How dare you—“

Spock reached out and cupped Leonard’s cheek. “And because you invoke the same emotion in me.”

Leonard’s face was hot beneath his palm. “I—“ the doctor seemed to have a hard time gathering his thoughts. “What are we going to do?”

“You will act as though you know nothing and when the coup is over I will publicly announce our relationship,” Spock explained.

Leonard licked his lip, nervous. “I don’t think your fellow Vulcans would like that.”

Spock cupped the back of Leonard’s head, intending to draw him into a kiss. “T’Pau has already given us permission to marry.”

Leonard drew back, mouth taut. “I think someone’s getting a little ahead of himself! You haven’t even mentioned this to me and you’re chatting it over with your clan’s matriarch?” 

“She brought up the matter after my failed marriage to T’pring,” Spock said. “The Council will not approve another bride for me but they will allow us to be together.”

Leonard swatted Spock’s hand away. “I’m still pissed at you over the mind-meld. You can’t just win me over with your shitty not-proposal Spock.” He pointed a finger into Spock’s chest. “You’ve got a hell of a lot to make up for.”

“Indeed.” Spock covered Leonard’s hand with his own. “Allow this to be a start. Computer.” The large screen in the center of wall blinked on. Spock spoke in Vulcan, giving the command to bring up his special encrypted file. 

The words appeared bright against the dark screen but it was all in Vulcan. Leonard scoffed, “I can’t read this.”

“Translate into Standard,” Spock ordered. It took only a moment for the letters to blink in and out of existence, converting from Vulcan back into the file’s original language. 

When Leonard comprehended what he was seeing his eyes widened. He approached the computer, his fingers touching the screen as he scrolled down. “Oh my god,” he muttered. It was McCoy’s medical file, specifically the information regarding his encounters with telepaths. He turned to look back at Spock, his face a mixture of anger and uncertainty. “This is classified, how did you get this?”

“I am Vulcan,” Spock said. “I have access to an extensive network of spies, it was child’s play.”

“Why are some of these names crossed off?” Leonard asked. 

On this matter, Spock was pleased. “Because they are no longer a threat to you.”

Leonard took a moment to process this, his blue eyes closing as he released a shaky breath. When he opened his eyes again he said, “The last name, take it off the list.”

Spock placed a hand on his mate’s shoulder. “Leonard—“

Leonard scowled, not willing to be placated. “Take it off, Spock,” he said, voice firm.

Spock acquiesced to his doctor’s request. “Delete the last named entry.”

When the name disappeared from the screen, Leonard pressed his back to the computer and cradled Spock’s face, his thumb stroking in a gentle caress. “What the hell were you thinking?” he asked.

“In the interest of completeness I included myself,” Spock explained.

“Completeness or not, don’t ever equate yourself to those sons of bitches,” Leonard said. He was tender now, a little overwhelmed at Spock’s gesture.

“Is the list an adequate recompense?” Spock asked. 

Leonard looked up at Spock, his lips quirked in a small smile. “It’s a start.” 

As they kissed, Spock knew that he had won. There would be time to discuss the healers on Vulcan, the details of what T’Pau wished from their union, and the complexities of the new command structure for the ship, but for now Spock had what he wanted. He and Leonard were bound now, because what better engagement gift was there but blood?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's done, finally after four years. I want to thank everyone who was a fan from way back who has been patient with me on this. I hope that the story has ended to your satisfaction.


End file.
